(Gas)lighting Their Way to Coercion and Violation in Narcissistic Abuse

Abstract

Narcissistic abuse is a hidden form of abuse and remains under-recognized in society and within the helping professions, partly due to victim difficulties in articulating the manipulative behaviors they have experienced. Though research focusing on narcissism is extensive, there is a distinct lack of research into the abusive behaviors individuals with severe narcissistic traits use against others and subsequent victim experiences. With the aim of raising awareness of this form of abuse, the following evocative account utilizes autoethnographic memory work and portrays personal experiences of narcissistic abuse—specifically, gaslighting behavior, pathological dishonesty, and intimate abuse. The autoethnographic methods of this article are aligned with social justice and feminist epistemologies. Suppositions are offered to the reader centered upon trauma, loss, and healing in the context of the author’s personal experiences and inherent values as a mental health nurse and educator. Key reflections regarding the use of memory as method along with procedural, relational, and ethical considerations determine how the autoethnography and its portrayal may have been shaped.

“The end justifies the memes”: A feminist relational discourse analysis of the role of macro memes in facilitating supportive discussions for victim-survivors of narcissistic abuse

“…Taking into consideration disparities in the recognition and understanding of narcissistic individuals and their varying presentations and harmful and abusive behaviours, abuse victims are not routinely identified (Howard, 2019). In turn, victims are often not aware they have experienced narcissistic abuse (often due to the manipulation and gaslighting they have experienced) until something triggers their own investigation or confusion around their experiences (see Howard, 2022). The victim is then left in the position of trying to find information to understand their experiences and access support from others who understand their descriptions.…”

“…It has been connected to underlying constructs of intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse, and coercive control (Durvasula, 2019;Howard, 2019). It differs however from other forms of abuse, as the narcissistic abuser uses complex mechanisms of deception as both covert and direct forms of abuse towards the victim (see Howard, 2022;Milstead, 2018). This involves the narcissistic abuser manipulating the victim's misplaced trust to confuse them about their own reality by using techniques such as gaslighting and pathological dishonesty (often incorporating infidelity) to enforce dominance and control (Howard, 2022).…”

“…It differs however from other forms of abuse, as the narcissistic abuser uses complex mechanisms of deception as both covert and direct forms of abuse towards the victim (see Howard, 2022;Milstead, 2018). This involves the narcissistic abuser manipulating the victim's misplaced trust to confuse them about their own reality by using techniques such as gaslighting and pathological dishonesty (often incorporating infidelity) to enforce dominance and control (Howard, 2022). The narcissistic abuser can typically present themselves differently to the victim's friends, family and others, bringing the victim's accounts of their abuse into question and discreditation (Arabi, 2017).…”

“…Narcissistic abuse can include psychological/emotional abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, and physical violence. Emerging studies highlight the importance for women of identifying specific traits such as narcissism exhibited by their abusive partner to make sense of their partner's characteristics and to support personal healing processes (Howard, 2022;Marsden et al, 2022). However, it remains an under-recognised phenomenon, especially in the UK (Howard, 2019).…”