Gender Differences in Marital Communication Patterns

Abstract

This study examined conflict-resolution interactions of couples, and related marital satisfaction to sequential and nonsequential communication patterns. Couples' satisfaction with marriage has been differentiated on the basis of the degree of coercive versus affiliative communication between partners. Results of this study indicate that this pattern differs, however, for individuals within couples on the basis of gender. Females and males were found to demonstrate different styles of response to dissatisfaction in marriage; men assume a coercive stance toward their partners while women take an affiliative position. Drawing on systemic and gender-difference theoretical perspectives, these patterns are interpreted as attempts by individuals with different world views to resolve conflict. A view is discussed whereby systems and gender differences can be integrated into a unified conceptual formulation upon which to base future development in research and therapeutic interventions.

A critical response to John Gray's Mars and Venus portrayals of men and women

“…Further, substantial research (e.g., White, 1989;White & Bondurant, 1996;Wood, 2001b) shows that men are more likely than women to respond to stress by bullying and assaulting othershardly a retreat into the solitude of a cave.…”

Marital Research in the 20th Century and a Research Agenda for the 21st Century

“…In one study, for example, the way a marital conflict interaction began determined its subsequent course 96% of the time (Gottman, 1994;Gottman et al, 1998, p. 7). White (1989), in a sequential analysis using the Raush et al, (1974) coding system, found evidence for the contention that men display a more coercive style in resolving marital conflict, while women display a more affiliative style. Ball et al, (1995) reported that couples perceived women to be more important than the husband in the mobilization phase of problem talk, which involved raising the issues, planning on how to solve them, being active and taking control by silence and nonresponse.…”

Who's Got the Power? Gender Differences in Partners’ Perceptions of Influence During Marital Problem‐Solving Discussions

“…Most current generalizations or stereotypes about gender differences in marital communication can be traced back to Parsons’ (1955) distinction between instrumental roles in family problem solving, which he expected would be played primarily by men, and expressive roles in managing the emotional aspects of relationships, which he expected would be played primarily by women. Although researchers and family scholars have questioned many of Parsons’ specific findings, especially his generalizations about the essentially traditional, instrumental‐expressive nature of family interaction patterns (see Skolnick, 1991), subsequent research and theoretical writing support the idea that men and women communicate with each other in different and relatively stereotypic ways (Baucom, Notarius, Burnett, & Haefner, 1990; White, 1989). Women tend to be described as emotionally expressive pursuers of intimacy, and men as task‐oriented problem‐solvers who want relationships but withdraw when the emotional atmosphere heats up (Baker‐Miller, 1987; Chodorow, 1989; Gilligan, 1982; Margolin and Wampold, 1981).…”