Gendered emotion work around physical health problems in mid- and later-life marriages

Abstract

The provision and receipt of emotion work—defined as intentional activities done to promote another’s emotional well-being—are central dimensions of marriage. However, emotion work in response to physical health problems is a largely unexplored, yet likely important, aspect of the marital experience. We analyze dyadic in-depth interviews with husbands and wives in 21 mid-to later-life couples to examine the ways that health-impaired people and their spouses provide, interpret, and explain emotion work. Because physical health problems, emotion work, and marital dynamics are gendered, we consider how these processes differ for women and men. We find that wives provide emotion work regardless of their own health status. Husbands provide emotion work less consistently, typically only when the husbands see themselves as their wife’s primary source of stability or when the husbands view their marriage as balanced. Notions of traditional masculinity preclude some husbands from providing emotion work even when their wife is health-impaired. This study articulates emotion work around physical health problems as one factor that sustains and exacerbates gender inequalities in marriage with implications for emotional and physical well-being.

Gender, Emotion Work, and Relationship Quality: A Daily Diary Study

“…Researchers have found that women in both same-sex and different-sex relationships do more emotion work than men to allow and encourage the sharing of personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions between relational partners (Umberson, Thomeer, & Lodge, 2015). When men do engage in emotion work, they describe it in masculinized terms, similar to how they would describe themselves as financial providers (Thomeer, Reczek, & Umberson, 2015). In Thomeer et al’s (2015) sample of heterosexual couples in which one partner had significant health problems, men explained doing emotion work because they were “being a rock” for their wives (p. 16).…”

“…When men do engage in emotion work, they describe it in masculinized terms, similar to how they would describe themselves as financial providers (Thomeer, Reczek, & Umberson, 2015). In Thomeer et al’s (2015) sample of heterosexual couples in which one partner had significant health problems, men explained doing emotion work because they were “being a rock” for their wives (p. 16). Still, the men in the sample did not report doing nearly as much emotion work as their wives, even when their wives were the ones with health problems.…”

“…Such perceptions position emotion work as feminized and “highlight that a key part of the enactment of hegemonic masculinity [the culturally defined ideal of how men should behave] within marriage involved relationally contrasting it to emphasized femininity and wifehood” (p. 19). That is, in these marriages, roles for women and men were seen as exclusive and opposite, underscored by a strict binary of roles and attributes appropriate for each gender (Ferree, 2010; Thomeer et al, 2015). …”

“…It may be that when both female and male partners report higher emotion work, relationship quality benefits. But it may also be that women and men have different expectations and reactions to emotion work (Daniels, 1987; Erickson, 2005; Thomeer et al, 2015). To this end, and as articulated below, we consider the influence of gender in associations between daily emotion work and each type of daily relationship quality.…”

Partner care, gender equality, and ageing in Spain and Sweden

“…It also supports theories about ''feminization'' of older men, at least in partner care (Pérez Díaz 2003). Caregiving may affect how (older) men negotiate their social roles and their masculinity (Calasanti 2010;Ribeiro et al 2007;Thomeer et al 2015;Wallroth 2016). Some critics find it unfair that male caregivers get more attention and question whether their caregiving is really similar to that of women (Milne & Hatzidimitriadou 2003).…”