Girls Blush, Sometimes: Gender, Moral Agency, and the Problem of Shame

When Shaming Is Shameful: Double Standards in Online Shame Backlashes

“…Theories of shame that focus primarily on its ability to maintain individual or group integrity (Taylor ) minimize the power differences of shame experiences and the ways in which group integrity can perpetuate discriminatory or harmful norms. The presence of shame can be an early‐alert system for the fact that standards we hold may, in part or whole, be culturally determined in ways that are not always supportive of personal agency and autonomy (see Manion , 37). A woman's momentary experience of shame when a man tells her to smile more at work may not indicate embarrassment at failure to live up to an ideal of femininity, but rather she might be experiencing a subconscious cue of a discriminatory social norm that is worth relitigating.…”

Gender, Shame, and the Pantsuit

“…Shame is widely regarded as an awful feeling. It is usually characterized as an involuntary, negative, other‐mediated emotion about oneself, and differentiated from other uncomfortable self‐conscious emotions such as embarrassment by virtue of the fact that it involves a “negative global assessment” of oneself (Manion , 2). I may feel embarrassment if, for example, I discover that I have been walking around a public space with a trail of toilet‐paper attached to my shoe; I will feel silly, self‐conscious, and possibly a corresponding desire to hide from the view of others, but this experience is not shameful because it does not prompt me to reassess my overall self‐worth.…”

Shame and the Future of Feminism

“…Because shame does have an embodied dimension, operating both on the skin (as blush) and in the belly (as gut reaction), it has generally been seen as a less valuable or morally significant emotion than guilt. Aristotle described shame as an emotion “suitable for youth” and “womanish”; centuries later, Freud would characterize it as a “feminine characteristic par excellence” (Manion 2003, 22). Echoing these views of shame as feminine and infantile, scholars of antiquity have maintained that moral progress means moving away from ethics associated with shame (Williams 1993, 5).…”

“…Part of the feminist project then becomes rewriting the scripts that trigger shame. Rather than feeling ashamed for not having a stay‐at‐home wife, men can feel shame for not participating more in child care; rather than feeling ashamed for not being thin enough or rich enough, women can feel shame for falling prey to such antifeminist messages and “weight[ing] [one's] reasons [for shame] incorrectly” (Manion 2003, 33).…”

“…To elaborate, I feel “genuine” shame when I fail to act in accordance with my authentic values—for instance, letting down a friend; “false” shame occurs when I hold myself to some “alien” standard—for instance, magazine images of feminine beauty. Either experience provides an opportunity to assess and reevaluate my values and expectations (Manion 2003). The distinction between “good” and “bad” is presumed to be transparent and has a certain subtext: if genuine shame is felt for the right reasons (and by the right people), less false shame will be felt across the board.…”