Grief & Loss Resolution among Birth Mothers in Open Adoption

Abstract

While research has explored birth parent grief and loss, it has not been thorough in exploring how the experience of having an open adoption affects birth parents’ grief and loss experience and resolution. Previous research has highlighted positive effects of open adoptions to date, but is quite limited in regards to the birth parents’ adjustment in current day, open adoptions. This descriptive, qualitative study explores birth parents’ experiences in current day, open adoptions and seeks to understand their experience of grief and loss and their movement towards grief resolution in the context of an open adoption. Findings of this study confirm that the experience of adoption placement involves grief and loss and that openness in adoption helps to mitigate this painful experience. Most notably, birth parents found meaning, comfort, and peace in knowing of their child’s well-being and by having ongoing involvement in the life of the child and adoptive family. This opens new avenues in thinking about adoption and the meanings participants make of it.Même si la recherche s’est penchée sur le deuil et la peine des parents biologiques, elle n’a pas approfondi l’effet d’une adoption ouverte sur leur douleur et leurs façons de composer avec celle-ci. Des recherches ont montré les effets positifs de l’adoption ouverte, mais elles ont peu abordé l’adaptation dont doivent faire preuve les parents biologiques ayant choisi l’adoption ouverte de nos jours. La présente étude descriptive et qualitative explore l’expérience vécue par les parents biologiques et cherche à comprendre leur deuil et leur peine ainsi que leurs façons de les surmonter. Les résultats montrent que la décision de confier un enfant à l’adoption s’accompagne d’un deuil et d’une peine, et qu’une ouverture permet d’atténuer la douleur d’une telle action. En particulier, les parents biologiques ont trouvé un réconfort à être au courant du bien-être de leur enfant et à garder contact avec celui-ci et sa famille adoptive. Cette étude ouvre de nouvelles perspectives au sujet de l’adoption et du sens que les participants lui donnent

The Relationship Between Time and Birth Mother Satisfaction With Relinquishment

“…For example, as with many major life decisions, a birth mother can experience grief and other painful emotions that ebb and flow with time and circumstance but still be confident in the knowledge that she made the best choice for child. This conclusion parallels those drawn in Krahn and Sullivan’s (2015) study, where only 1 of the 13 birth mothers interviewed explicitly expressed regret about her decision, but there were expressions of differing degrees of guilt and sadness about their child’s adoption.…”

“…This finding mirrors results found in the MTARP by McRoy and colleagues (2007), which found that birth mothers who had contact with their child experienced greater satisfaction. Prior research suggests that for some birth mothers, having contact with the child helps reduce feelings of anxiety about the child’s life and well-being, worries they may be having about the child feeling abandoned, and/or guilt about their decision (Krahn & Sullivan, 2015; Wiley & Baden, 2005).…”

“…Little is known about the interaction of these two variables. This analysis builds on the work of other studies that have looked at the impact of time since relinquishment on birth mothers' satisfaction with their decision, together or in part (e.g., Ge et al, 2008;Henney et al, 2007;Krahn & Sullivan, 2015;McRoy et al, 2007), by utilizing multivariate statistics to model the effect of time since relinquishment on birth mother satisfaction with her decision to place her child, while controlling for variables that may have an impact on the dependent variable (satisfaction with decision). Practice implications for adoption agency workers and counselors who serve birth mothers will be discussed, as well as recommendations for future research.…”

“…Consistent with this narrative, other studies have concluded that for a subset of birth mothers, the act of relinquishment is tied to an increased sense of self-efficacy and confidence that their decision was in the best interest of their child (Donaldson Adoption Institute, 2007; Henney, Ayers-Lopez, McRoy, & Grotevant, 2007; Namerow, Kalmuss, & Cushman, 1993). Studies with findings that support the more positive narrative (e.g., Henney et al, 2007; Krahn & Sullivan, 2015) underscore the importance of recognizing that birth mothers may express confidence in their decision while simultaneously encountering feelings of grief and loss.…”

“…While the response to relinquishing a child for adoption is highly personal and individualized, findings from prior research suggest that a birth mother’s adjustment and/or satisfaction following the adoption may be impacted by a number of factors. These factors include the circumstances surrounding the relinquishment—that is, whether the birth mother felt pressure to place her child (Cushman et al, 1993; De Simone, 1996; Madden et al, 2017), the availability of a caring support system to help her cope with ongoing feelings related to the adoption (Krahn & Sullivan, 2015; Triseliotis et al, 2005; Wiley & Baden, 2005), and subsequent life transitions and milestones, such as marriage and/or the parenting subsequent children (Henney et al, 2007; Krahn & Sullivan, 2015). More recent research regarding birth mothers’ postrelinquishment adjustment suggests that the type and frequency of contact between the birth mother and her child in the months and years following the adoption may also play an important role (Ge et al, 2008; Henney et al, 2007; Krahn & Sullivan, 2015; McRoy, Grotevant, Ayers-Lopez, & Henney, 2007).…”