Grief as a transformative experience: Weaving through different lifeworlds after a loved one has completed suicide

Abstract

Using Heidegger's hermeneutic phenomenology informed by van Manen's and Benner's work, this research is an exploration and interpretation of the lived experiences of family members since they lost a close family member to suicidal death. Data from in-depth interviews with six participants, the researcher's journal entries and published literature were analysed. Findings gave rise to a grief model where suicide survivors moved through four modes of being-in-the-world characterized by 13 lifeworlds or themes. Surviving suicide was a transformative process that in time enabled survivors to discover new ways of understanding and relating to the world. The findings have implications for nurses and counsellors working in the area of suicide bereavement.

The Experiences of Parents Readjusting to the Workplace Following the Death of a Child by Suicide

“…Literature relating to bereaved workers in general refers to this phenomenon as ''double avoidance'' of both parties (Barski-Carrow, 2000), and it is illustrated by Hurcombe's (2004) assessment of the bereaved parent's thinking: ''Please don't ask me how I am because you really won't want to hear.'' Explicit avoidance by co-workers was mentioned by only three participants in the present study but perceived as hurtful, confirming the feelings of other survivors of suicide (Fielden, 2003). Family members interviewed by Begley and Quale (2007) felt that being warned of the possibility of others avoiding them might have helped ameliorate this hurt.…”

“…The role of feeling enduring guilt and failure contributed to some parents' difficulties in coping at work and reflected more general findings on the emotions experienced by bereaved parents and suicide survivors (Begley & Quale, 2007;Dyregrov et al, 2003;Fielden, 2003). In some cases, this sense of shame appeared to underlie the dilemma over whether to tell others and in particular new work colleagues about their child's death.…”

“…The loss must also have occurred over 18 months previously. Like past studies (e.g., Fielden, 2003), an appropriate length of time since their bereavement was considered as ethical.…”

“…However, studies of the impact on parents who have lost a child through accident, sudden infant death syndrome, or suicide indicated that the reactions of parent survivors of suicide are similar to others who have undergone the sudden and traumatic death of a child (Dyregrov, Nordanger, & Dyregrov, 2003). In interviews, five parents bereaved by suicide described living with dissociation, guilt, fear, and stigma, (Fielden, 2003) but less attention has been paid to issues pertinent to longer term readjustment in parents' daily lives.…”

“…Social reactions to parents traumatically bereaved of a child has included feelings of ostracism, avoidance by previous acquaintances, and unrealistic expectations of recovery (Fielden, 2003;Rando, 1985). Mothers have described the failure of others to acknowledge the existence of the dead child and trying to protect others by not talking about their loss whilst longing to do so (Jacob & Scandrett-Hibdon, 1994).…”