Grief, mindfulness, and changing the system

Abstract

my love and life partner left our house to drop off his car to be serviced. The radio was playing, the coffee pot was hot, his leather gloves were waiting at the top of the stairs because he would be back in 30 minutes after a pleasant walk through the Halifax, NS, streets. He never came back. A man driving a pick-up truck ran David down in a crosswalk. After 3 days of unconsciousness in the intensive care unit, with family beside him 24 hours each day, he died, peacefully, in my arms.Carried by a tsunami of loss, I am now on a foreign shore where everything is both familiar and completely strange. I understand in a daily, visceral way the universal human experience of profound loss.I know in this turbulent year many of you are experiencing losses, from small to life changing. I have found over the past weeks that the steady flow of cards, kind words, flowers, poems, sharing of experiences, books, thoughtful gifts, telephone calls, messages, and e-mails from family, friends, and strangers are comforting and healing. I offer you my reflections in the hope they might be helpful.I was fortunate to hear Dr Jillian Horton speak on May 1, 2021, at the Northern Ontario School of Medicine in Sudbury for the Northern Constellations Faculty Development workshop. Among the helpful and wise things she said, this stood out to me: "As physicians we may devalue our own suffering (someone else's is always worse). Suffering doesn't have to be the worst for it to matter." Even though we know many people and patients whose struggles are much more difficult than ours, we can practise self compassion to acknowledge and ease our own pain.Many of you know and appreciate David as a mentor, colleague, friend, family medicine leader, and pillar of the CFPC since the 1980s. His life's work was to make health care systems better, largely through advancing and improving family medicine. I have asked myself over the past weeks-how can loss and grief lead to systemic change? The death of a cherished family member can galvanize us into action. Our family began asking questions: was David's death a banal and random event? No, the intersection where he was hit was known to be dangerous. And in all our cities, towns, and rural and remote communities, cars driven by people, kill other people. Many municipal designs, policies, and structures prioritize the

Kahramanmaraş Depremi̇ Özeli̇nde Travmati̇k Yas Ve Sosyal Hi̇zmeti̇n Yas Danişmanliği Müdahalesi̇

“…Bu teknikte danışan sandalyede oturarak duygularını aktarır ve karşısındaki boş sandalyeye geçerek kaybettiği kişinin yerine yanıt vererek ikili bir rol üstlenir. Bu tekniğin odak noktası, öfkeyi, suçluluğu ve korkuları ölenin rolüyle verilen yanıtlarla yönetmek ve olumlu yönde dönüştürmektir (Borins, 1995(Borins, : 1209. Boş sandalye tekniği "yönlendirilmiş imgeleme" tekniği olarak da geçmektedir.…”

Untitled

“…Bu teknikte danışan sandalyede oturarak duygularını aktarır ve karşısındaki boş sandalyeye geçerek kaybettiği kişinin yerine yanıt vererek ikili bir rol üstlenir. Bu tekniğin odak noktası, öfkeyi, suçluluğu ve korkuları ölenin rolüyle verilen yanıtlarla yönetmek ve olumlu yönde dönüştürmektir (Borins, 1995(Borins, : 1209. Boş sandalye tekniği "yönlendirilmiş imgeleme" tekniği olarak da geçmektedir.…”