Guilt in Adult Mother–Child Relationships: Connections to Intergenerational Ambivalence and Support

Kalmijn, Matthijs

doi:10.1093/geronb/gby077

Cited by 14 publications

(16 citation statements)

References 51 publications

(79 reference statements)

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“…Indeed, previous research indicates that people typically respond to intergenerational ambivalence by avoiding contact with their children (Connidis, 2015). The positive aspects of the relationship may cause parents to also feel guilt for not maintaining the relationship (Kalmijn, 2018).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Intergenerational Ambivalence and Loneliness in Later Life

Hua

Brown

Bulanda

2020

J of Marriage and Family

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ObjectiveThis brief report examined the relationship between intergenerational ambivalence and loneliness in later life among a group of older adults with at least one child.BackgroundPrevious work has explored the links between intergenerational ambivalence and other indicators of well‐being but has not examined loneliness. Although studies show an association between positive and negative relationship quality with children and loneliness, there are conflicting findings, and there is also insufficient exploration of the role of gender.MethodUtilizing pooled data from the 2012 and 2014 waves of the Health and Retirement Study (HRS) (n = 10,967) ( https://hrs.isr.umich.edu/documentation), structural equation models were used to examine the hypothesized relationships, and multiple group analysis was utilized to assess potential gender differences.ResultsThe results indicated that greater intergenerational ambivalence was associated with increased loneliness in later life. However, there were no significant gender or marital status differences in the relationships.ConclusionThis study adds to the existing literature on ambivalence and well‐being by showing that ambivalent relationships are related to loneliness. Results underscore the emotional complexity of parent–child relationships and suggest the need for investigating the consequences of holding contradictory feelings.

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Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Intergenerational Ambivalence and Loneliness in Later Life

Hua

Brown

Bulanda

2020

J of Marriage and Family

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“…Some studies have examined the guilt that adult children feel toward their ageing and ill parents (Boll and Filipp 2002;Losada et al 2018). A recent study showed that adult children's feelings of guilt toward their mother are associated with feelings of ambivalence, with imbalances in support exchange, and with norms of filial responsibility (Kalmijn 2018).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

Feelings of Guilt in the Family: The Case of Divorced Parents

Kalmijn

2020

European Studies of Population

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Guilt is believed to be a common emotion in personal relationships. Few studies, however, have examined if guilt plays a role in the divorce process. The present chapter uses unique nationally representative survey data which included questions on the extent to which parents have feelings of guilt toward their (young or adult) children (N = 3,203). By comparing married and divorced parents while controlling for an elaborate set of control variables, we describe the effect of divorce on guilt. By testing a series of variables that may moderate the divorce effect, we subsequently try to explain why divorce affects guilt. Our findings show that there are significant effects of divorce on the feelings of guilt that parents have toward their children. These effects are stronger when parents have more traditional attitudes toward family issues, in line with moral explanations of guilt. The effects are also stronger when the relationship between the child and parent is stronger, in line with explanations of guilt in terms of altruism.

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“…The changes associated with increased parents’ age and disability may create challenges for adult children to negotiate tensions with their parents. Moreover, when parents continue to age and become less independent, adult children might experience guilt and worrying emotions toward their parents (Gonyea, Paris, & de Saxe Zerden, 2008; Hay, Fingerman, & Lefkowitz, 2008; Kalmijn, 2018). These emotions may also influence adult children’s behavioral responses to interpersonal tensions with aging parents.…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…Extensive studies have found that various emotions are associated with moral behaviors (Tangney, Stuewig, & Mashek, 2007) and may have implications for interpersonal relationships (de Hooge, Mohiyeddini, Eysenck, & Bauer, 2013; van Kleef, De Dreu, Pietroni, & Manstead, 2006). Although other emotions, such as anger and hurt, may also be related to conflict strategies (Guerrero & La Valley, 2006), we chose to examine guilt and worry because these two emotions were found to be commonly experienced among adult children who have aging parents (Gonyea et al., 2008; Hay et al., 2008; Kalmijn, 2018).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

“…As parents become older and experience physical declines, adult children remain closely involved with their parents. There are various situations that may evoke adult children’s guilty feelings when they try to provide care to older parents, such as the inability to fulfill caregiving responsibility, criticisms from other relatives, leaving parents dependent on formal services, and regrets for their decisions on parent’s care or medical treatments (Gonyea et al., 2008; Kalmijn, 2018; Parks & Pilisuk, 1991). Moreover, guilty feelings may also occur when aging parents experience declines, even when a grown child is not directly involved with care (Amirkhanyan & Wolf, 2003).…”

Section: Introductionmentioning

confidence: 99%

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Middle-Aged Children’s Coping Strategies With Tensions in the Aging Parent–Child Tie

Wang

Kim

Birditt

et al. 2019

Int J Aging Hum Dev

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Middle-aged children may cope in different ways with interpersonal tensions with their aging parents. This study examined coping strategies as a function of parent’s age and disability and children’s emotions (i.e., guilty feelings and worry). Middle-aged children ( N = 378) reported coping strategies when encountering interpersonal tensions with each of parents ( N = 482): engagement, acceptance, avoidance, and confrontation. Middle-aged children also indicated how guilty and worried they felt about each parent. Multilevel models indicated that middle-aged children were most likely to use engagement and acceptance strategies, followed by avoidance, and least likely to use confrontation. Results also revealed that middle-aged offspring were more likely to use engagement toward their parents who were older and acceptance toward parents with more disabilities. Furthermore, when middle-aged children had stronger feelings of guilt toward parents, they were more likely to be avoidant and less likely to engage with parents. Worries about parents were positively associated with the use of engagement strategies.

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Guilt in Adult Mother–Child Relationships: Connections to Intergenerational Ambivalence and Support

Abstract: Intergenerational ambivalence can be problematic for children because it may increase feelings of guilt. Feelings of guilt are also determined by a lack of reciprocity and by norms about intergenerational support.

Cited by 14 publications

References 51 publications

Intergenerational Ambivalence and Loneliness in Later Life

Intergenerational Ambivalence and Loneliness in Later Life

Feelings of Guilt in the Family: The Case of Divorced Parents

Middle-Aged Children’s Coping Strategies With Tensions in the Aging Parent–Child Tie

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