Halal dating: Changing relationship attitudes and experiences among young British Muslims

Abstract

Young Muslims in the UK are making space to gain greater control over their personal lives through the diction of ‘halal’ and ‘haram’ when reflecting on and negotiating personal relationships. This article explores the significance of ‘halal dating’ within the lived experiences and sexual relationships of young British Muslims. It draws upon 56 in-depth interviews conducted with young (16–30 years) British Muslims of Pakistani heritage. This research shows that, contrary to popular stereotype and widespread expectations, many young British Muslims do date, or have dated. By entertaining the idea that certain forms of dating may be halal, these young Muslims are finding and claiming agency to make relationship choices of their own.

De-colonizing public spaces in Malaysia: dating in Kuala Lumpur

“…18 In another study on 'Halal dating' among young British Muslims, Ali et al believe that many young Muslims in the United Kingdom are gaining greater control over their personal lives by reclaiming a previously taboo term -dating -by differentiating between Haram (forbidden) and Halal (permissible) forms of dating. 19 Ali et al argue that Halal dating is gendered. They believe that there was a difference between the ways in which women and men spoke about the ideals and realities of Halal dating; it was usually the men who debated the temptations of physical intimacy and their limited powers to resist these once out on a date.…”

Online Halal Dating, Ta'aruf, and the Shariatisation of Matchmaking among Malaysian and Indonesian Muslims

“…1 , 2 0 2 1 The resurgence of piety, evident in increasing rates of public religious expression as a manifestation of growing Muslim publics, has facilitated the growth of online early marriage campaigns as well as halal online matchmaking services. The mushrooming of web-based dating sites and mobile dating applications is considered by many as indicating the agency of women and youth (see e.g., Ali et al 2019;De Rooij 2020). However, the fact that halal matchmaking is initiated in the name of Sharia compliance often complicates the understanding of the notion of agency.…”

Mid- and Later Life Cross-Sex Friendships in Minority Ethnic Contexts: Insights From Scotland

“…By contrast, the Sikh male participant said, ‘For me, for Asian boys, we’re let loose, we can do what we want more or less’. His ‘friends with benefits’ appear as continuations of the sexual freedom he enjoyed as a young single man and highlight men’s taken-for-granted and condoned sexuality and promiscuity (an observation also made about young British South Asian Muslims: Ali et al, 2020: 8).…”

“…Nevertheless, Zubair mentioned ‘certain cautionary behaviour’ with female (but not male) friends that inhibited ‘deep’ friendships with women. For him, WhatsApp allowed ‘distanced or remote friendships’ with female friends (see Ali et al, 2020: 9–11 on the similar use of social media in dating by young British Muslims). Zubair elaborated, It isn’t limited by any notion of ring fencing or securing myself or the person whom I regard as a friend.…”