He Said, She Said: Gender Differences in Mother – Adolescent Conversations about Sexuality

Abstract

This study examined gender differences in self-reported and observed conversations about sexual issues. Fifty mother-adolescent dyads reported on their conversations about sexual issues and participated in videotaped conversations about dating and sexuality in a laboratory setting. Gender differences (more mother-daughter than mother-son) were found in the extent of sexual communication based on adolescents' reports, but no gender differences were found based on mothers' reports, or on observations of conversations. Aspects of laboratory interactions, however, did distinguish motherdaughter and mother-son dyads, and related to self-report measures. Girls' reported sexuality communication frequency related to behavior in the laboratory setting. During mother-son conversations, one person usually took on the role of questioner, whereas the other did not. In contrast, there was evidence for mutuality of positive emotions for mother-daughter dyads, but not for mother-son dyads.According to the best-seller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (Gray, 1992, p. 5), "Not only do men and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently. They almost seem to be from different planets, speaking differ-Requests for reprints should be sent to Eva S. Lefkowitz, focused on how mothers behave with sons versus daughters when discussing sexual issues. Frequency and Extent of Communication about SexFrequency of communication about sexual issues has important implications for the socialization of sexuality and romantic relationships. In particular, if the frequency of communication with sons and with daughters differs, boys and girls may learn different messages about sexuality communication. In comparing mothers' conversations about sexuality with their sons and their daughters, researchers have found that girls report more frequent communication about sexual issues with their mothers than do boys (

Positive sexual communication and socialization in the parent-adolescent context

“…In fact, in our own observational work, when asked to talk about "dating and sexuality," mothers and adolescents spent about 40 percent of conversations talking about dating, 17 percent talking about sex, and 38 percent off topic (Lefkowitz et al, 2002). However, topics coded "off topic" may have also been tangentially relevant to sex-related communication.…”

“…For example, mothers and offspring sometimes engaged in metacommunication about sex, for instance, talking about whether a daughter had learned about sex in health class. Other mother-offspring pairs ended up off topic through the natural flow of conversation, for example, by first discussing when the child might be old enough to start dating, but then naturally moving to a discussion of growing up more generally (Lefkowitz et al, 2002).…”

“…In our past work, we have stressed the importance of examining not only the content of communication but also how sexual information is conveyed, including the quality of communication (Lefkowitz et al, 2002;Lefkowitz, Romo, Corona, Au, & Sigman, 2000;Lefkowitz, Kahlbaugh, & Sigman, 1996). Having a positive relationship and high-quality general communication are likely to be necessary, but not sufficient, conditions for having positive sex-related communication.…”

“…In our observational work, we have examined various aspects of sexrelated communication, including the extent to which mothers dominate conversations about sex , turn taking during sexrelated conversations (Lefkowitz et al, 1996), and positive and negative affective style (Lefkowitz, Sigman, & Au, 2002). Findings suggest that conversations about sexuality involved less turn taking and fewer words than other mother-child conversations (Lefkowitz et al, 1996).…”

The Roles of Engagement, Autonomy, and Relatedness in Maternal "Monitoring"

“…This apparent gender difference is not entirely without precedent, as previous findings have suggested that parents" conversations about sex with their daughters are more predictive of subsequent behavior than are parents" conversations with their sons (McNeely, Shew, Beurhing, Sieving, Miller, & Blum, 2002), potentially due to the more interactive nature of the conversations between mothers and daughters (Lefkowitz, Boone, Sigman, & Au, 2002). Primary analyses suggesting that the negative association between maternal control and subsequent risky sexual behaviors is suppressed by declining mother-adolescent engagement for boys provide some evidence to support this idea.…”