Honesty and Intimacy

Abstract

Current professional and lay lore overlook the role of honesty in developing and sustaining intimate relationships. We wish to assert its importance. We begin by analysing the notion of intimacy. An intimate encounter or exchange, we argue, is one in which one verbally or non-verbally privately reveals something about oneself, and does so in a sensitive, trusting way. An intimate relationship is one marked by regular intimate encounters or exchanges. Then, we consider two sorts of cases where it is widely thought permissible, if not laudatory, to lie to one's intimates. In discrediting these presumably central cases of justified dishonesty, we put forward general considerations requiring honesty. We end by suggesting how `metahonesty' - honesty about one's own efforts at communication, including one's efforts to be honest - is particularly important in intimate relationships.

Effectiveness of solution-focused brief couple therapy in improvement of communication patterns and marital intimacy in women

“…Loss of intimacy in couples, which could be resulted from the destructive communication patterns, can be another reason for marriage failure. Intimacy in marriage is a very important issue and involves the couples, while they trust each other and are sensitive to each other's feelings, to reveal things about themselves verbally or nonverbally [7]. There is a belief that all human beings have a basic need to make intimate relationships.…”

“…Many studies suggest that enjoyment of intimacy between couples is among important factors in creating a stable marriage. On the other hand, avoiding an intimate relationship is among the factors leading to failure in family life [7]. One of the most effective intervention therapies to help couples, who are facing marital problems, is Solution-Focused Brief Therapy.…”

Honesty as a Virtue

“… This may actually be the more difficult task, given the general acceptance that honesty is beneficial in producing positive outcomes such as well‐functioning social groups and intimate relationships. See, for example, Hursthouse , 209–10, and LaFollette and Graham .…”

Honesty as a Virtue

“…11 This may actually be the more difficult task, given the general acceptance that honesty is beneficial in producing positive outcomes such as well-functioning social groups and intimate relationships. See, for example,Hursthouse 1999, 209-10, andLaFollette andGraham 1986.…”