We compute direct current thermoelectric transport coefficients in strongly coupled quantum field theories without long lived quasiparticles, at finite temperature and charge density, and disordered on long wavelengths compared to the length scale of local thermalization. Many previous transport computations in strongly coupled systems are interpretable hydrodynamically, despite formally going beyond the hydrodynamic regime. This includes momentum relaxation times previously derived by the memory matrix formalism, and non-perturbative holographic results; in the latter case, this is subject to some important subtleties. Our formalism may extend some memory matrix computations to higher orders in the perturbative disorder strength, as well as give valuable insight into nonperturbative regimes. Strongly coupled metals with quantum critical contributions to transport generically transition between coherent and incoherent metals as disorder strength is increased at fixed temperature, analogous to mean field holographic treatments of disorder. From a condensed matter perspective, our theory generalizes the resistor network approximation, and associated variational techniques, to strongly interacting systems where momentum is long lived. Q 2 with s Q a transport coefficient independent of disorder strength, a charge density, and an analogue of the mass density. The parameter τ is analogous to a momentum relaxation time, and related to the 1 This is technically not quite right-there is one (set of) bulk scalar fields in these models which is of the form f = kx , i i but this choice maintains homogeneity in the sectors of the theory of interest. 2 See [54, 55] for recent updates on this particular holographic model. 3 In graphene, for example, s~e h, Q 2with e the charge of the electron. 4 We can maintain an electric current without adding any energy by simply shifting to a moving reference frame.New J. Phys. 17 (2015) 113007 A Lucas