In this article, I draw on research on ethics, value, and narrative/storytelling, examining how global health professionals use techno‐optimistic stories to position themselves as experts ready to mediate between philanthropists and aid recipients. This techno‐optimism involves the coordination of three types of portability—scientific medical, ethico‐moral, and monetary. I identify and discuss five key plot elements of techno‐optimistic stories. I also describe how this storytelling may re‐inscribe health/communicative inequities along lines patterned by race, gender, and nationality. My analysis contributes to theorizations of value, especially theorizations of language and value, discussing how storytelling is central in the constitution and management of distinct types of value. [global health, narrative, portability, storytelling, value]