“I Feel It In My Heart When My Parents Fight”: Experiences of 7–9-Year-Old Children of Alcoholics

Abstract

Children are vulnerable when exposed to parental alcohol abuse. Although much is known about children of alcoholics (COA), research examining the experiences of younger COA is scarce. To gain knowledge of the consequences for these children, it is important to ask the children themselves. This study explored the consequences for a child of having an alcoholic parent, from the point of view of 7–9-year-old COA. Eighteen children were interviewed, whose alcoholic parent was undergoing treatment, using a vignette. In the analysis, using qualitative content analysis, the findings show that the children of this young age had much experiences and took a great responsibility for their alcoholic parent, and the family. The most significant feeling of the children was a feeling of sadness. They tried to control the situation in different ways. They wished for a change in the future, but despite problems in the family they described things they did together with a loving parent. Implications include the importance of listening to and supporting all COA, also children as young as 7–9 years old. Further studies should address the support that can and should be offered to COA.

‘If I whistled in her ear she’d wake up’: children’s narration about their experiences of growing up in alcoholic families

“…'The sober parent' was usually described in opposition to the 'drunk parent' as physically and emotionally present, supportive and lovablesomeone who the children felt affection for (c.f. Alexanderson & Näsman, 2015;Tinnfält et al, 2018). Theodore (10) described his sober father: 'He's a very kind dad, caring, has fun ideas, fearless, likes to go swimming and such'.…”

“…Moreover, most children expressed concern for the health of their parents with alcohol problems, and for their own and their siblings' safety and well-being (c.f. Alexanderson & Näsman, 2015;Tinnfält et al, 2018). Many also told in detail of intrusive thoughts about traumatic events, and at the same timeespecially when youngerof their conscious attempts to not think about them, for example by playing with their toys or watching television (c.f.…”

“…At other times, and especially as the children grew older, it became more common for them to confront their alcohol-dependent parents; they either gained the courage to talk to them or became so frustrated and upset that they stood up to them (c.f. Tinnfält et al, 2018). Through the CAP programme, the children were taught, in line with the Minnesota model (Minnesota house, 2019), that their parents' alcoholism was a disease, for which only they themselves could decide to seek treatment (see Lindstein, 1995).…”

“…because they couldn't stop themselves' (c.f. Tinnfält et al, 2018). Daniel (12) described how he eventually stood up to his stepfather, after many years of alcohol misuse and violence against his mother:…”

“…Nonetheless, existing 'risk research' highlights the importance of early identification of these 'invisible', trauma-exposed children in order to help to improve their living conditions. Perhaps indicative of the stigma related to parental alcohol misuse, the research is also scant when it comes to younger children's experiences (Tinnfält, Fröding, Larsson, & Dalal, 2018). This is especially the case from a longitudinal perspective, where children describe the family environment and how they cope with it during the ongoing course of their childhood.…”