“I’m not a lesbian; I’m just a freak”: A Pilot Study of the Experiences of Women in Assumed-Monogamous Other-Sex Unions Seeking Secret Same-Sex Encounters Online, their Negotiation of Sexual Desire, and Meaning-Making of Sexual Identity

The experience and meaning of same‐sex sexuality among heterosexually identified men and women: An analytic review

“…It is worth noting, however, that some of these women also report being pressured by their boyfriends to “perform bisexuality” in threesomes, which they sometimes experience as unwelcome or coercive (Fahs, ). Perhaps to avoid this, some heterosexually identified women in committed relationships pursue “secret” or “undercover” sexual encounters with women without their boyfriends' knowledge (Walker, , ). These women turn to online resources like http://Craigslist.org to find other women for casual sex that they then hide from their spouses or partners.…”

“…Among the women Budnick () interviewed, many claimed a heterosexual identity in response to a closed‐ended survey item, but in a more open, conversational setting explained that heterosexuality does not fully describe their sexual desires and experiences. Many of the women Walker () interviewed said that although they are heterosexual, they also identify as “freaks,” given their high sex drives and their occasional interest in sex with other women. As such, women who experience sexual discordance may continue to find meaning in a heterosexual identity, but they are usually more willing or able than men to acknowledge that their same‐sex sexuality complicates or undermines such an identity (for a similar discussion regarding men, see Carrillo & Hoffman, ).…”

“…Beyond campus, women's experiences with sexual discordance are more likely to be reconciled with their heterosexual identities in ways that mirror the interpretive strategies used by men. For instance, some women emphasize that they pursue sex with other women simply because their male partners are unable to keep up with their sex drives (Walker, ). For these women, as with many men who pursue sex with other men, a different‐sex partner is usually preferred, but in the absence of such a possibility, sex with a same‐sex partner will suffice.…”

“…Some readers may be skeptical of this claim, but as we hope our analysis will demonstrate, there is a lot of empirical evidence supporting it (see Chauncey, ; Humphreys, ; Irvine, ; Laumann et al, ). Some heterosexuals who experience same‐sex attractions and engage in same‐sex sexual behavior may want to avoid the negative social consequences that come with identifying as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, while others may interpret their identities and/or experiences in ways that render them compatible (Anderson, ; Budnick, ; Carrillo & Hoffman, ; Fahs, ; Humphreys, ; Reback & Larkins, ; Silva, , ; Walker, , ; Ward, , ; Yost & McCarthy, ). Some individuals, and perhaps women to a greater extent than men, experience substantial change in attractions, behaviors, and identities in different contexts and across the life course (Diamond, ).…”

The Role of Sexual Health Professionals in Developing a Shared Concept of Risky Sexual Behavior as it Relates to HIV Transmission

“…Given extensive documented evidence that HIV is transmitted sexually, we argue that definitions and messages need to be clear and encompassing, highlighting behaviors rather than identities and emphasizing that anyone engaging in sexual behavior is at risk, although measures can be taken to reduce this risk (World Health Organization, ). Indeed, even in committed, mutually monogamous relationships evidence suggests that exposure may occur if one or both partners break the commitment (Blashill, Wilson, O'Cleirigh, Mayer, & Safren, ; Jones, Stephenson, Wall, & Sullivan, ; Walker, ). Normalizing risk through a carefully articulated definition of RSB means clarifying that sexual activity quite simply always carries some threat, not the stigmatized, deviant threat of past stereotypes but a serious, widely distributed risk that requires everyone's attention.…”