I understand you feel that way, but I feel this way: the benefits of I-language and communicating perspective during conflict

Abstract

Using hypothetical scenarios, we provided participants with potential opening statements to a conflict discussion that varied on I/you language and communicated perspective. Participants rated the likelihood that the recipient of the statement would react in a defensive manner. Using I-language and communicating perspective were both found to reduce perceptions of hostility. Statements that communicated both self- and other-perspective using I-language (e.g. ‘I understand why you might feel that way, but I feel this way, so I think the situation is unfair’) were rated as the best strategy to open a conflict discussion. Simple acts of initial language use can reduce the chances that conflict discussion will descend into a downward spiral of hostility.

Relationships With School Administrators: Leveraging Knowledge and Data to Self-Advocate

“…This nonthreatening approach prompts one member of the group to share their perspective that would not be evident to other members without explicit sharing. It also promotes open communication to continue (Rogers et al, 2018). For instance, in the opening vignette, the principal told the SET that she needed to “sub for Jim.” Kate (the SET) could have said, “When you tell me to sub for Jim during my co-taught class, I feel like you think that I am not integral to the class I co-teach or that you may not realize that I am legally required to be in there to provide students with their necessary supports and services.”…”

Online Academic Incivility Among Adult Learners

“…From high-risk conflict to lower severity interpersonal conflict resolution situations, “you” statements should be avoided (e.g., Biesen et al, 2015; Rogers et al, 2018; Vecchi et al, 2005). In general, “you” pronouns tend to set up negativity and blame in online communication.…”

Case study in training of diagnostics of mechanisms of psychological defense in a conflict situation

“…Rigid beliefs and emotions which promote the selective, prejudiced and distorted information processing [14]; fundamental error of attribution, jet devaluation [13]; stereotypes and prejudices [12] call barriers to reconciliation of the conflicting parties. Foreign psychologists seek to estimate efficiency classical the technician and receptions in fight against these barriers [15]. Special attention is paid to a role of emotions in emergence and resolution of conflicts [16,17].…”