This study aims to reveal the gendered manifestations of para-social interactions between female fans and male idols in social media platforms in China, to clarify in which aspects they serve to reinforce the traditional gender order and in which aspects they deviate from the traditional gender norms, with a view to contributing positively to the optimisation of the relationship between female fans and male idols. Digital ethnography approach is used in this work, based on the Sina Weibo platform, to conduct a 15-day online observational study of seven Chinese male idols, namely Ma Jiaqi, Liu Yaowen, Song Yaxuan, Deng Jiaxin, Tang Yuzhe, Zhu Yilong, and Yang Yang, as well as their female fans. The blind consumption and unpaid labour of Chinese female fans for their male idols, as well as the polygamous "courtly love" relationship between the two, reaffirm and reinforce the traditional gender order. At the same time, the transformation of Chinese female fans from erotic objects to erotic subjects, their love for multiple male idols, their concern for ambiguous relationships between male idols, and their adherence to self-principle and subjectivity have rebelled against and even subverted traditional gender norms. However, the power to counteract the traditional gender order is not strong enough, and is still limited by factors such as exclusivity within the fan community, heterosexual hegemony, and idolatry that is as crazy and irrational as religious beliefs.