The spectrum of disorders/phenomena encompassed in the practice of rheumatology is quite broad. In addition, our expertise is typically sought whenever other physicians encounter phenomena outside their knowledge base. While skin alterations typically prompt referrals to dermatology practices, alterations underlying the skin (e.g., subcutaneous) may well represent localization in “no man’s land” or an orphaned localization, with rheumatology thus referred as to the specialty of last resort—one of the roles that rheumatology has fulfilled for more than half a century. The current review addresses the cacophony of disorders producing or associated with variouslysized subcutaneous nodules. Their classifications, while necessarily artificial, encompass the full spectrum of pathologic processes. They are delineated in the current style to facilitate the consideration required to distinguish among them and to facilitate recognize the underlying processes for which we as rheumatologists are renowned.