“…Equally, we encouraged the husband to formulate his own view within the context of differing views in the family: to ‘stand up’, with appropriate respect, to his mother‐in‐law. By engaging with all the family members (husband, wife, brothers), and even the physicians involved in the case, we were able to influence the system in a way that promoted a resolution to the problem Bobele (1989) provides an excellent example of this, also in a hospital setting). Finally, as is so true in family therapy, when we finally met the person viewed as the ‘villain’ (in this case, it was the mother‐in‐law), and learned vividly of her own fear of losing her daughter, we could not not be affected by her worry and despair about possibly losing yet another child prematurely.…”