Interpersonal strategies of unpopular children: Some implications for social skills training

Abstract

Reciprocity is regarded as an important process in social skills training programs. This paper argues that establishing the purpose of the observed inappropriate social behavior could help in understanding the dynamics of reciprocal relationships. It explores the proposition that inappropriate behavior often can occur because an unpopular child adopts an interpersonal strategy in order to cope with rejection by others. Studies are reviewed that suggest that differential deficiencies in social skills are associated with the type of strategy adopted-avoidant or approach.

Teaching the skills of friendship

“…For instance a child must learn to scan and assess the nonverbal cues of others if he is to maintain control of an interaction. Work by Diamond and Carey (1977) and Kafer (1981) suggests that this skill is not fully acquired until about the age of 10 to 11 years.…”

“…These defences are reflected in such inappropriate behavioural response to others as withdrawal, aggression or general social ineptness (Northway, 1960;Parker, 1975;Van Hasselt et al, 1979). Such interpersonal strategies, though obviously inappropriate, do serve a useful purpose as far as the child is concerned; unfortunately they also interfere with the learning of new social skills (Deluty, 1981a(Deluty, , 1981bKafer, 1981Kafer, , 1982. Therefore it seems that an unpopular child must not only learn new skills, but also must reevaluate the usefulness of his interpersonal strategy in order to obtain a different perspective of the significant other's intent.…”