Intimate relationship challenges in early parenthood among lesbian, gay, and heterosexual couples adopting via the child welfare system.

Abstract

Little research has examined the transition to parenthood among couples who adopt through the child welfare system. The current qualitative study of 84 individuals within 42 couples (17 lesbian, 13 gay, and 12 heterosexual), who were placed with a child via foster care three months earlier, examined perceived changes in their intimate relationship. Findings indicated that, like heterosexual biological-parent couples, some adoptive parents perceived the loss of their partner’s undivided attention as stressful to the relationship. Adoption-specific stressors were also identified, including the need to find state-approved child care to facilitate “couple time” and the legal insecurity of foster-to-adopt placements. Although our findings were similar for heterosexual, lesbian, and gay adoptive parents, same-sex couples cited some additional stressors related to their sexual minority status. Findings have implications for individual, couple, and family practitioners who work with lesbian, gay, and heterosexual adoptive parents, particularly during their transition to parenthood.

Predictors of relationship dissolution in lesbian, gay, and heterosexual adoptive parents.

“…It is likely that diverse motivations may underlie the performance or nonperformance of such behaviors; but, perhaps the absence of such behaviors on the part of both partners constitutes a risk factor for the relationship, in that neither partner is regularly “taking the pulse” of the relationship, and encouraging discussion about it (e.g., about what is working, and what is not working). Over time – especially with the demands of new parenthood – the relationship may be increasingly put on the “back burner,” insomuch as habits of reflection and discussion have not been established (Goldberg et al, 2014). In contrast, a scenario in which both partners are performing high levels of maintenance behaviors may be an indicator that something is wrong in the relationship, in that both partners are actively and frequently “working on” the relationship.…”

“…Prior work has documented the significance of adoption-related support services, as well as adoptive parents’ subjective sense of preparedness, to adoptive parents’ level of stress during the initial adjustment period and beyond (Goldberg et al, 2010; Reilly & Platz, 2003). Parents want adoption-related information, support, and counseling that can help them to manage their children’s behaviors (Goldberg et al, 2014; Howard& Berzin, 2011) – but also to help them manage their relationships (Mooradian et al, 2012). …”

“…A qualitative study of heterosexual women who adopted via the child welfare system, for example, found that dealing with disappointment regarding their children (who were often older and/or had behavioral issues) or their roles as parents, was described as especially wearing on their marriages (Timm et al, 2011). Likewise, a study of same-sex and heterosexual couples who adopted via child welfare found that couples often described the transition to parenthood as taking a toll on their relationship, in that they were often adopting a child who was older and had special needs, thus creating unique demands on their time and energy (Goldberg et al, 2014). …”

Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Adoption Law

“…In a recent study, 22 lesbian and gay parents were interviewed about the perceived impact of the ban, as well as the lifting of the ban (see Goldberg, Moyer, Weber, & Shapiro, ; Goldberg, Weber, Moyer, & Shapiro, ; Ollen & Goldberg, ). All of the parents in the study were residents of Florida while the state's gay adoption ban was in effect (until 2010) and all had adopted or were in the process of adopting a child at the time they were interviewed in 2012.…”

“…Positive advantages associated with the lifting of the ban included enhanced security and relief for parents and children and the ability to be out in the adoption process (Goldberg et al, ). Yet, in the wake of the lifting of the ban, participants often found it difficult to locate lawyers and adoption agencies that were knowledgeable about and comfortable with gay adoption, thus highlighting the potential for the lingering effects of anti‐gay legislation after its removal (Goldberg et al, ).…”