Inviting Autonomy Back to the Table: The Importance of Autonomy for Healthy Relationship Functioning

Abstract

Autonomy, or self-determination, is a key ingredient in promoting relationship flourishing. Although autonomy has long been an important concept in the family therapy field (labeled differentiation; Family therapy in clinical practice, 1978), definitional confusions and the ascendency of attachment theory and attachment-based clinical approaches to treating couples have relegated autonomy to a minor role at best and a caricature of rugged individualism and antirelational separateness at worst. Given recent research showing the importance of autonomy for the development of secure attachment in children and the key role autonomy plays in healthy intimate partner functioning, the concept of autonomy needs to take a more central role in our research and clinical practice with couples.

Relationship self-regulation: An integrative review of the literature.

“…It should also be noted that the metacompetencies might appear in different bodies of research under different names (as mentioned earlier: commitment, self-awareness, motivation, differentiation, etc.). For example, recent discussion in the field about autonomy within romantic relationships complements the principles of RSR naturally, as autonomy focuses on self-determined change efforts while relying on feedback from contextual systems (Anderson, 2020). The metacompetencies of RSR help bolster the argument that autonomy, as originally defined by Kerr and Bowen (1988), “.…”

“…More current scholarship might place RSR under the umbrella concept of autonomy in romantic relationships—in the sense that individual efforts to make personal changes often represent autonomous decisions to better the overall system (Anderson, 2020). Due to the focus on self-change, RSR is highly relevant to the recent academic discussion around self-regulation and differentiation in romantic relationships (Hadden, Rodriguez, Knee, & Porter, 2015; Hardy & Fisher, 2018; Ryan & Deci, 2017).…”

Jugend, romantische Liebe und das gute Leben

“…Diese konkrete Ausgestaltung der romantischen Liebe, also die Art und Weise der Liebesbeziehung, die man führt, kann dann sicherlich wiederum autonomiefördernder oder autonomiebegrenzender erfolgen. Es gibt hier auch empirische Hinweise darauf, dass Autonomie für das Gelingen einer romantischen Liebesbeziehung wichtig ist (J. R. Anderson 2020).…”

Longitudinal associations of parental psychological control and friend support with autonomy during early adolescence

“…From the perspective of Self‐Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan, 2000), autonomy can be defined as self‐determination, or the consenting or owning of one's beliefs and values and subsequent behavior (Ryan & Deci, 2000). Autonomy is different from independence or self‐reliance, which refers to the ability or tendency to function without relying on others for support or assistance (Anderson, 2020). In the context of parent‐adolescent relationships, autonomy may involve negotiating with parents to make decisions about one's life, while independence may involve being able or tending to complete tasks or manage responsibilities without parental guidance or support.…”