“It’s none of your business”: Adolescents’ reasons for keeping secrets about their engagement in problem behaviors

Abstract

Although parental knowledge of youth behavior is associated with less adolescent engagement in problem behaviors, many adolescents keep their engagement in various activities secret from their parents. However, less research has examined why youth keep secrets about their engagement in problematic activities. The current study examined adolescents’ reasons for keeping secrets from their parents regarding their engagement in problematic and multifaceted behaviors (alcohol use, risky cyber behaviors, problematic peer associations, and romantic behaviors), as well as the role of parental rules and youth age and gender on adolescents’ secrecy reasons. Participants were 161 parent-adolescent dyads (Adolescent Mage = 14.42, SD = 1.73, range = 12–18, 82% white, 60% female). The current study utilized a sample of adolescents who reported both engaging in the specific behavior and reported keeping secrets from their parents regarding their engagement in the behavior. Results demonstrate that adolescents’ reasons for secrecy differed across various forms of problematic and multifaceted behaviors. Additionally, both individual characteristics (adolescent gender and age) and parental rules (parent and teen report) were associated with adolescents’ secrecy reasoning. However, the pattern of these associations varied depending on the type of behaviors adolescents were keeping secret from their parents.

How Do Adolescents Manage Information in the Relationship with Their Parents? A Latent Class Analysis of Disclosure, Keeping Secrets, and Lying

“…These adolescents could also feel disengaged or detached from their parents and strongly value independence (Van Petegem et al, 2013 ). This echoes the fact that adolescents who are concerned about maintaining privacy over personal information (Tilton-Weaver & Marshall, 2008 ), negative parental reactions (e.g., sanctions, worries, or disappointments; Metzger et al, 2020 ), or lack of parental interest (Fletcher & Blair, 2018 ) are more likely to withhold information. Conversely, for adolescents who perceive their relationship with their parents as need-supportive (such as those in the Communicators class), they attempt to maintain an intimate relationship with their parents through disclosure and share information for certain purposes, and thus preserve both their needs for relatedness and autonomy (Tokić Milaković et al, 2018 ).…”

“…When adolescents decide to disclose or withhold information, they typically consider their own behaviors (Marshall et al, 2005 ). For example, adolescents who engage in drinking behaviors generally prefer to disclose less information and withhold information to avoid negative parental reactions, such as punishment or parental disappointment (Metzger et al, 2020 ). On the other hand, specific information management strategies may also be predictive of changing drinking patterns.…”

“…This coincides with an increase in time spent with peer groups in which adolescents experiment with risky behaviors (Barnes et al, 2007 ), particularly alcohol use (Inchley et al, 2020 ). Revealing this information to parents can be particularly sensitive (Metzger et al, 2020 ). Thus, adolescents are likely to set boundaries around information about their daily activities, friendships, and whereabouts.…”

I just don’t agree with my parents: Why Chinese adolescents keep secrets

“…It was also found that adolescents’ justifications for nondisclosure varied by the type of events being considered (e.g., not disclosing personal activities due to beliefs that the issues were harmless, but not disclosing prudential issues because of concerns with parental disapproval or punishment, e.g., Yau et al, 2009). Meanwhile, American adolescents were found to have distinct reasons for keeping their engagement in different problem behaviors secret from their parents (Metzger et al, 2021). Thus, according to SDT (Turiel, 1983; Smetana et al, 2014), not only is it important to distinguish between domains of activity, but also to investigate individuals’ underlying social reasoning.…”

“…Similarly, Son et al (2022) found that Mexican-origin girls, compared with boys, were more willing to communicate with parents to remain in a close relationship because girls are generally socialized to place higher priority on the benefits of the family. Metzger and colleagues (2021) reported that American girls were more likely than boys to avoid disclosing romantic issues to maintain relationships with parents or avoid punishment, and more likely to utilize personal and punishment-avoidance reasons to justify secrecy for risky behaviors. This may stem from different levels of behavioral control in the family.…”