This research introduces the Social Support Opinion Survey (SSOS), the first measure of social support from the provider's perspective. Studies 1–3 developed the SSOS and confirmed that support opinions can be reliably characterized as directive (attempting to govern how others cope) and nondirective (facilitating without governing how others cope). Studies 4–6 showed that social support opinions relate to more basic cognitive, emotional, and interpersonal styles. Directive opinions were related to cognitive rigidity (need for structure, need for certainty, and just‐world beliefs) and to an exchange orientation. Nondirective opinions, in contrast, were related to emotional differentiation, use of emotions as information, empathy, and a communal orientation. Thus, people may reveal who they are by how they help.