Lesbian Partner Abuse: Implications for Therapists

Abstract

Silence surrounds the issue of lesbian battering. Lesbian victims of partner abuse are even less likely than are their heterosexual counterparts to seek help in shelters or from counselors because of the overlay of homophobia that exists both in the battered women's movement and among mental health professionals. In addition, many lesbian and many lesbian-supportive therapists hold an idealized and unrealistic picture of the nature of lesbian relationships, leading them to deny the existence of buttering among lesbian couples. The nature, severity, and prevalence of abuse in lesbian relationships is addressed; current counseling and treatment models dealing with battering relationships are analyzed; and a counselor advocacy model for working with lesbian partner abuse, drawing from the experience of activists in the battered women's movement and our clinical experience, is suggested.

Filling the Silence: Exploring the Bisexual Experience of Intimate Partner Abuse

“…Much of this work explores partner abuse as a function of gender. Considering that LGBT individuals do not consider themselves to be a homogeneous group (Dollimore, 1997;Prosser, 1997) and that despite the realization that partner abuse is not a unitary phenomenon (Merlis & Linville, 2008;Morrow & Hawxhurst, 1989), adopting a gender rather than a sexuality category for investigating partner abuse has resulted in the bisexual experience being ignored by researchers. Why is this?…”

Husband Abuse: Fact or Fiction?

“…In a similar fashion, a number of writers reject husband abuse as a problem because it is feared that this eventually will attract public attention and may reduce public spending on wife abuse, or even 'direct attention away from the victimisation of women and the function of male dominance' (Saunders, 1988: 90;). Morrow and Hawxhurst (1989) note on this that accepting women as perpetrators of spouse abuse (a) will endanger funding committed to wife abuse; (b) will harm the public image of the battered women's movement; and (c) 'would endanger a feminist gender-specific analysis of battering that viewed battering as a consequence of male privilege and power in society' (p. 58).…”

“…the most unreported crime is not wife abuse but husband abuse (Langley and Levy, 1977;Daly and Wilson, 1988;Nagi, 1977). Under-reporting abuse is very common among husbands (Ruback, 1994;Stanko and Hobdell, 1993;Henmann, 1996) simply because male victims (a) 'don't teir, are not believed even when they tell, are laughed at and ridiculed when they tell, and are finally blamed for the assault if they tell; (b) are likely to downplay the seriousness of abuse and consider it not serious to talk about it, let alone report it to the authorities (this is more so among abused husbands with long histories of domestic violence, eg having witnessed/sustained violence at home, or having experienced violence at school or in the community as children); (c) are dependent on the abusive wife; (d) are powerless, traumatised and disbelieved when they talk about their plight, therefore they do not disclose easily their secret to strangers and even to relatives and friends; (e) consider it improper and demeaning to admit that they are not in a position to take care of themselves and that they need assistance to settle their differences with their wives; and finally (f) know that telling about their plight will have no effect on their status: the government cannot help them anyway, violence occurs also among cohabiting gays and lesbians (Garcia, 1991;Morrow and Hawxhurst, 1989;Sarantakos, 1996;Chesanow, 1992;Island and Letellier, 1991, Morrow and Hawxhurst, 1989, Brand and Kidd, 1986, and Renzetti, 1988Elliott, 1996:2;Merrill, 1996:12).…”

Domestic Violence in Lesbian Relationships

“…Although most workers within the movement estimate that battering takes place approximately as often in lesbian relationships as it does in heterosexual relationships (Carlson, 1992;S. K., 1988;Ventura, 1995), some researchers have argued that domestic violence occurs less often in lesbian relationships than among their heterosexual counterparts (Morrow & Hawxhurst, 1989). Few actual estimates of the number of battered lesbians are available, although Nealon (1992) places the number at 50,000 to 100,000 a year, and The Family Violence Project, a counseling and legal advocacy organization in San Francisco, estimates "conservatively" that one in five lesbians is battered (Ventura, 1995).…”

“…Individuals who repeatedly choose violent behavior often believe at some level that it is an effective means of achieving a desired outcome. As researchers have suggested in the case of heterosexual battering, violence is most frequently employed as a tactic for achieving "interpersonal power" or control over one's partner (Carlson, 1992;Dutton & Starzomski, 1997;Edgington, 1989;Lie & Gentlewarrier, 1991;Morrow & Hawxhurst, 1989;Ristock, 1991;Ventura, 1995;Zemsky, 1988). Dependency has been found to be correlated with abuse (Alvi & Selbee, 1997;Ellis & Dekeseredy, 1989), and some researchers report that perceived loss of power or control may also lead to increased violence (Allen & Straus, 1980;Phillips, 1988).…”