Life after the Death of a Child: Initial and Long Term Support from Others

Abstract

This article presents research on both the source and continuity of support received by bereaved parent(s) within four different social contexts: family, friends, co-workers, and clergy. The data were obtained from a study conducted in 1990–91 on the social impact of the death of a child, and are drawn from fourteen interviews with bereaved parents representing nine families and ten child deaths. The responses to three questions are considered. First, how were you treated by family members and close friends? What were their expectations? Second, how were you treated by your boss and co-workers when you returned to work? What were their expectations? And, finally, how did your clergy treat you? Using the work of Therese Rando and William Worden as point of departure, social support or lack thereof for the bereaved parent is reexamined from a symbolic interactionist perspective. Implications for grief counseling are discussed.

Bereaved Parents' Experiences of Supportive and Unsupportive Communication

“…Bereaved individuals may not receive support from friends and family members simply because these individuals are also grieving (Brabant, Forsyth, & McFarlain, 1995). Moreover, the support offered to bereaved parents may be short-lived and not sustained for long periods of time (Brabant et al, 1995).…”

The Psycho-social Impact of fatal Child Drowning in Queensland and the Availability and Use of Support

“…This style of support is low cost and easily accessible (Van der Houwenet al Within this category, groups that have a focus on child death comprise 23% of all mourning and loss groups, suggesting that parents who have lost a child may need support for longer than other bereavement situations and that other support networks may tire of giving their support over a lengthy period. This is consistent with other research which suggests family and community tend to place a judgment on how long a person should mourn for their child before they start to 'get on with life' (Murphy 1990;Brabant, Forsyth, McFarlan 1995;Breen, O'Connor 2011). Online support offers additional support for bereaved people and is not a substitute for other forms of support Van der Heuwen et al 2010.…”

“…Brabant et al studied parents who had lost their child and were members of the Compassionate Friends USA 5 (Brabant, Forsyth, McFarlan 1995). Although this sample may have biased the study cohort as the parents were obviously seeking additional support not evidenced within their social structure, Brabant examined parents' experiences within four social contexts: clergy, family, friends and co-workers.…”

“…This reaction, whilst possibly well intended, can be harmful (Brabant 1995), yet there is little in the literature to address how to combat these wellintentioned but hurtful conversations with the bereaved. Family and friends may not consider the need to seek advice regarding support and effective communication, as they may not believe they are causing any distress to the grieving parent.…”

Parental Grief and Marital Issues Aftermath: A Pilot Study

“…The communication among bereaved parents post-loss is a primary ways of meaning -making (Bosticco & Thompson, 2005;Sedney, Baker, & Gross, 1994). However, after the death of a child, communication can be difficult (Brabant, Forsyth, & McFarlain, 1995;Hastings, 2000). Studies on spousal communication after the death of a child that involved Weterners Parents concluded that havingcomplete openness dialogues and the ability to grief together is described as good and healthy relationship (Baxter & Montgomery, 1996).…”