Limited Options: Symptoms as Expressions of Ambivalence

Asking About Ambivalence: A Different Kind of Therapist Neutrality

“…As part of this structure and therefore of the system's autonomy, they are conserved as well. This is an ambivalent position embodying both the system's striving for an ideal, wished-for way of living and the inevitable failure of this quest (Fourie, 1996(Fourie, , 2003a. Ambivalence about certain issues becomes part of the identity, the structure, of that system and the system's actions reflect this, also on an individual level.…”

“…For instance, if parents bring their lying child to treatment, it is accepted that the therapist will attempt to get the child to stop lying. This is a limitation imposed on the treatment because it brings the therapist into the family's ambivalence regarding truth and falsehood (Fourie, 2003a). With the therapist allied with the client or family against the problem the ambivalent autonomy is threatened, thereby inviting the system to redouble its (symptomatic) efforts to conserve the ambivalence.…”

“…Inter alia it shows the potential effectiveness of a single well-placed question; "wellplaced" because it addressed and perturbed a particular ambivalence, one the old man was probably not even aware of, namely whether the beard belonged above or below the bedclothes. In many ways psychotherapy is the business of perturbing just such entrenched ambivalences (Fourie, 2003a(Fourie, , 2007. The story shows how this perturbation led to the "spontaneous" development of a different understanding of the situation by the old man, namely that the beard was uncomfortable in bed.…”

“…It was shown some time ago how troublesome behavior in social systems can be seen to reflect and express the conservation of this kind of entrenched ambivalence by the system and how such a conservation process limits the options available both to the family and to individual family members (Fourie, 2003a). Since then it has become clear that the family's conservation of ambivalence not only limits the family's options, but also those of the therapy and of the therapist.…”

Look, but Don’t Touch: Narcissist Behavior and the Conservation of Ambivalence

“…As part of this structure and therefore of the system's autonomy, they are conserved as well. This is an ambivalent position embodying both the system's striving for an ideal, wished-for way of living and the inevitable failure of this quest (Fourie, 1996(Fourie, , 2003(Fourie, , 2007.…”