Lived Experiences of Childfree Lesbians in the United Kingdom: A Qualitative Exploration

Abstract

Evidence suggests that most lesbians remain childless, but little is known about the childfree lesbian experience. The current study qualitatively explores the experiences of five childfree lesbians. The results show that even for a group for which childlessness is arguably still presumed, it remains socially difficult to articulate a desire to remain childfree. The women presented their childfreedom as both essential, and politically and biographically motivated. Being lesbian and childfree was framed as different from being heterosexual and childfreediscourses and practices of 'families of choice' and 'co-independence' in intimate partnerships provided a way of 'doing' family outside of dominant, heteronormative expectations. Concurrently, the greater visibility of lesbian parenting had resulted in the unwelcome imposition of heteronormative expectations. The results raise questions about the normalising effects of the legal recognition of same-sex marriage and queer parenthood on the lives of lesbian women, and other queers, who choose to remain childfree.

“Never Say Never?” Heterosexual, Bisexual, and Lesbian Women’s Accounts of Being Childfree

“…LBQA women cannot be assumed to be childfree by default. Our research added empirical evidence that both heterosexual and LBQA women were influenced by the motherhood mandate (Clarke et al, 2018;Dunne 2000;Peterson & Engwall 2013). A particularly novel finding was that these women positioned themselves as unwilling to "impose" their childfree position on others.…”

“…We used thematic analysis (Braun & Clarke, 2006;Terry, Hayfield, Clarke, & Braun, 2017) to identify themes, with the aim of capturing patterns and complexities and contradictions in participants' accounts. We undertook our analysis within a critical realist Joanne, Louise) and one queer participant (pseudonym Rosa Marvin), three of whom were single or separated, and two of whom were in a cohabiting relationship (Clarke et al, 2018).…”

“…They framed their own lives as stable and ordinary and needing protection from the extraordinary maelstrom of parents' lives. The lesbian and queer women not only engaged in the sense-making that we report here--where their own lives were presented as ordinary relative to parents' extraordinary lives--but also represented their childfreedom as a way of "doing family" different from traditional heteronormative ideals (see Clarke et al, 2018).…”

“…": HETEROSEXUAL, BISEXUAL, AND relationship and its childfree status are constructed as simultaneously reasonable and emotional. Being childfree is based on ongoing and thoughtful dialogue between partners, according to particular contexts, and positioned as not arising from a dislike for children or due to emotional coldness (also see Clarke et al, 2018). Both heterosexual and LBQA women seemed to implicitly resist stereotypes associated with childfree individuals, particularly of being selfish, hating children, or as immature (Letherby, 2002;Morison et al, 2016;Terry & Braun, 2012).…”

Keeping Lily Safe: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Human–Animal Attachment during Adversity

“…Just as the cat demands attention on her own terms and is considered less people-oriented than the dog, so may lesbians reject traditional female roles. Caring for cats enables lesbians to reclaim elements of caretaking in female identity without being subjected to patriarchal pressures of motherhood Conversely, the same lesbian/cat trope commonly represented as 'the mad cat lady'has a heteronormative and anti-lesbian interpretation in which lesbians who reject parenting are perceived as being odd, deficient or strange in some way (Clarke et al 2018).…”