Living‐Apart‐Together ( LAT ) Relationships

Abstract

As a result of increased life expectancy, high divorce rates, and declining marriage and remarriage rates, older adults have experienced remarkable changes in norms surrounding patterns of partnering and family formation. The family lives of older adults now demonstrate greater heterogeneity and complexity than did those of earlier cohorts. New ways of “doing family” have become more prevalent, particularly in terms of how romantic partnerships are enacted and maintained. Although cohabitation is on the rise, another form of partnering is gaining visibility in Western societies—living apart together (LAT). These relationships are often defined as committed, monogamous intimate partnerships between unmarried individuals who live in separate homes but identify themselves as a couple. This entry provides an overview of LAT relationships in older adulthood including prevalence rates, explanations as to why older adults choose to LAT, and the benefits and disadvantages of LAT in later life.

Late-life families.

“…Defined as committed monogamous intimate partnerships between unmarried individuals who live in separate homes but identify themselves as a couple (de Jong Gierveld, 2002), LAT relationships are characterized by stability and long durations. Similar to cohabitating couples, older LAT couples described their relationships as no less committed than happily married couples, but their level of commitment hinges on personal desire alone and is not rooted in any sense of obligation, moral or otherwise, to remain a couple (Benson, 2015). An important question for late-life LAT couples is whether or not they can rely on their partner as a potential source of caregiving as their health declines.…”

Diverse Family Structures and the Care of Older Persons

“…Defined as committed, monogamous intimate partnerships between unmarried individuals who live in separate homes but identify themselves as a couple (de Jong Gierveld, 2002), older LAT couples describe their relationships as no less committed than happily married couples. Their level of commitment hinges on personal desire alone and is not rooted in any sense of obligation to remain a couple (Benson, in press). LAT relationships afford older adults safeguards against various forms of loss (e.g., of autonomy or material and financial assets), as well as protection against loneliness and isolation (Upton-Davis, 2012).…”