Background The qualitative research on young onset dementia is providing insights about the 'lived experience' of patients and caregivers. However, findings from these studies have seldom been integrated into descriptive overviews. Our aim was to search the qualitative research, to integrate the qualitative findings, and offer an account of the lived experience for patients and caregivers. Method The search of the qualitative research formed part of a broader comprehensive literature search investigating salient measurement issues in the young onset dementia psychosocial research. Five electronic databases were searched (Medline, CINAHL, PsycINFO, Embase, the Cochrane Library) plus supplementary searching of reference sections and use of online search engines. We identified 23 qualitative articles. Results In the pre-diagnostic period, patients experience changes in cognition and functioning but may be uncertain about changes and their significance. Caregivers may observe changes, think of explanations, and are important in instigating medical intervention. Obtaining a diagnosis may be a demanding process and the possibility of dementia may not be anticipated. In the post-diagnostic period, patients and caregivers use several strategies to cope and adjust. Patients can withdraw from established responsibilities while caregivers assume compensatory roles/duties. Patients perceive changes in their identity while caregivers perceive changes in the caregiver-patient relationship. Both can experience grief, isolation, and stigma. Discussion The diagnosis of dementia elicits significant changes in thinking, emotion, and lifestyle that patients and caregivers are unlikely to be ready for. Both receive insufficient support or guidance in particular of a psychological nature on how to cope and adjust.