Living with an elephant: Growing up with parental substance misuse

Abstract

A B S T R AC TAlthough parental substance misuse is now a focus of concern in child welfare practice, we know little about what it is really like for children who grow up in families where adult drug and/or alcohol use is an issue. Set against a backdrop of research links between parental substance misuse and child maltreatment, this article examines a number of studies that focus on the experiences of children and young people in this context. Emerging themes are identified which provide insight into the world of children for whom a substance is, effectively, a family member -'the elephant in the living room' -and the implications for practice, particularly in relation to children's visibility, disclosure and confidentiality, are considered. It is argued that a focus on the 'elephant' often leads to children remaining 'invisible' to those whose role it is to ensure their welfare.

Struggling with one’s own parenting after an upbringing with substance abusing parents

“…A third reason is that misusing parents often deny their misuse and react in in threatening and aggressive ways when it is alluded to. This can result in all of the family members cooperating in order to maintain the invisibility of “the elephant in the room” (Klostermann et al, 2011; Kroll, 2004). A fourth reason that can block the possibility of receiving help or support may be found in the deep sense of shame that is often felt within families where one or both of the parents are substance abusers.…”

“…The help that is offered should include strategies both for affect regulation and for lessening feelings of shame, as well as to create an atmosphere in which it is possible to talk openly about their parent’s substance abuse and the consequences that the abuse has had for themselves (Kroll, 2004). It is also important that treatment offers the possibility to develop a critical perspective concerning their parents’ parenting.…”

The ‘risk gradient’ in policy on children of drug and alcohol users: Framing young people as risky

“…This cutting off may be related to youth being conceived of as a risky life stage (Social Exclusion Unit, 2006). With parental drug and alcohol problems, risk stems from the effects parent's substance use has in creating a volatile environment (Kroll, 2004). Over time these risks are seen to be embodied in the child and later the young person, incorporated into risky selves that extend into adulthood.…”

“…This term describes situations where children take over some caring roles, assuming responsibility for others in the household, such as siblings and sometimes parents themselves (Barnett and Parker, 1998), and is a common experience of many children in these circumstances (Bekir et al, 1993, Kroll, 2004. In policy it is also subsumed under the risk gradient.…”

The state of evidence-based parenting interventions for parents who are substance-involved

“…When such statistics are considered, it should be noted that the youngest children are over-represented (5), suggesting that families with young children would be in particular need of parenting interventions. When this information is coupled with the fact that parents' substance involvement is associated with many risks for children, risks complicated by harmful parenting practices (6), the need for parenting interventions for substance-involved families with young children is even more evident.…”