Making meaning by sacrifice – self and relationship commitment in Finnish spouses and partners of people with mental illness

Abstract

A person's mental illness burdens their spouse or partner in multiple ways and significantly increases the risk that the couple will divorce. However, scant research exists about the impact of the illness on spouses' experience of self and relationship commitment. The author investigates how 16 Finnish, heterosexual spouses and partners of people with mental illness make meaning out of their self and commitment, including the role of religion in this meaning making. The data was gathered through narrative, semi-structured interviews and analysed with a narrative approach. For these spouses and partners, sacrifice was central to meaning making. They drew on religion in marital sanctification, justification and coping. The results show the importance of mental health care in supporting the spouses' separateness from the relationship or as an avenue of expressing their commitment. This finding highlights the need to invest in couple-centred approaches to mental health care.

A systematic review of relationship sacrifices from 2002 to 2021: Moving toward inclusivity

“…For motives of sacrifice, much of the deductive motivation to sacrifice research was influenced by or included the Motivation to Sacrifice scale (Impett et al, 2005), which asks participants to respond to approach motives or goals for sacrifice (doing something to make the partner happy) or avoid motives for sacrifice (doing something to avoid relational conflict). Some inductive research on sacrifice motives or goals illuminated reasons why people engaged in sacrifice for their partner (e.g., because of their commitment to their partner or religious reasons, Ojalammi, 2021; sacrifice emerged as a theme for why people felt obligated to care for their partner with multiple sclerosis, Boeije & Van Doorne‐Huiskes, 2003).…”

“…In a more explicit lens of self‐sacrifice, Kurtiş's (2010) master's thesis investigated relational sacrifice in a sample of Turkish women using the Silencing the Self Scale (Jack & Dill, 1992), which views sacrifice as a gendered expectation in which women elevate their partner's needs above their own to avoid conflict. Furthermore, some individuals who were caregivers of partners with mental illness recognized that their partner's illness necessitated an imbalance in their relational sacrifices (Ojalammi, 2021). Thus, our coding of appraisals revealed patterns of prosocial sacrifice and a darker side of sacrifice.…”

“…The deductive studies frequently used quantitative data empirically drawn from the motives for sacrifice scale, which delineated approach and avoid motivations (Impett et al, 2005). In qualitative work, the value shifted to open‐ended reasons why people engaged in sacrifice for a partner (Mandal, 2020; Ojalammi, 2021). One stark trend that emerged in the qualitative studies on sacrifice motivation is that the dark side of sacrifice can be costly to the self, a concept Righetti et al (2022) corroborate in their review.…”

“…Sacrifice research can illuminate power imbalances and gendered expectations in relationships, especially when considering the broader culture in which participants live and the context in which relational sacrifice occurs. As exemplars in our review: Caregiving and loss of self by those caring for a partner with a mental illness (Ojalammi, 2021), simultaneous feelings of guilt, love, and duty expressed by spouses caring for partners with multiple sclerosis in the Netherlands (Boeije & Van Doorne‐Huiskes, 2003) and Kurtiş's (2010) study of the sociocultural suppression of self‐disclosure among Turkish women.…”

Eroon perhekulisseista

“…Arjen haasteiden lisäksi puolison psyykkinen sairaus hankaloittaa tavallisesti myös parisuhteelle tärkeää vastavuoroisuutta niin vanhemmuuden, kommunikaation kuin seksuaalisuudenkin alueella. (Karp, 2002, 41;Lam ym., 2005;Ojalammi, 2021;Van der Voort ym., 2009. ) Tämä artikkeli tarkastelee, millaisia merkityksiä relaatioilla omiin ja appivanhempiin on psyykkisesti sairaiden henkilöiden puolisoiden parisuhdekertomuksissa.…”