Making visible the invisible: Bisexual parents ponder coming out to their kids

Abstract

<jats:p> Unlike straight or gay parents whose sexuality is often made obvious to their children based on the gender composition of their relationships, bisexual and other non-monosexual parents are regularly and inaccurately assumed to be straight or gay. As a result, bisexuals in both same-gender and mixed-gender relationships must choose whether or not to come out to their children. This article uses data from an online survey of 767 US parents and explores reasons that bisexual parents offered when discussing their plans to come out or not come out to their children. Using a qualitative, thematic analysis of the open-ended question “Do you plan to tell your children about your sexual orientation? Why or why not?”, this article demonstrates that bisexuals planned to come out in order to educate their children on diversity, to encourage their children to be allies, to combat bisexual erasure, to promote honest communication, to convey solidarity to their LGBTQ+ children, and for necessary logistical reasons. Some parents did not plan to come out to their children, explaining that their sexuality was private, shameful, or confusing. Others said they would come out if asked, or if their children were also queer. These motivations relate to bisexual parents’ unique experiences with binegativity and erasure. </jats:p>

“Caught between two worlds”: Managing identity in bisexual fatherhood.

“…Bisexual parents have described their bisexuality as stable throughout parenthood, seeing their involvement in the LGBTQ+ community as a protective factor (Bartelt et al, 2017). Research has also considered parents’ disclosure of bisexuality to their children, with bisexual mothers valuing honesty and openness to both educate their children and convey solidarity to LGBTQ+ offspring (Davenport-Pleasance & Imrie, 2022; Haus, 2021). However, bisexual fathers’ narratives around disclosure require further study.…”

At the Fringes of Pride Politics

“…On the one hand, the fragmentation of bisexual politics is perceived to hinder the affirmation of a firm and effective identity project with political implications (Tucker 1995;Burrill 2001). On the other hand, the difficulties extend to the psychosocial level (Jorm et al 2002;Albelda et al 2009;Haus 2021). Moreover, as is highlighted in the literature, the lack of recognition of bisexuality also has epistemic implications, since it reiterates the supremacy of heteronormativity and compulsory monosexuality (Caldwell 2010;Roseneil et al 2020) and makes bisexuality unintelligible (Yoshino 2000).…”