This article offers a discourse analysis of domestic abuse's ‘Man Problem’ by combining and developing Naffine's, Foucault's and Bacchi's work in a new way. Taking the parliamentary debates around the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 in England and Wales as our focus, we critique how MPs problematise gender to justify a gender-neutral definition of domestic violence and abuse (DVA). We illustrate how MPs reframe DVA's ‘man problem’ not as the problem of men as perpetrators of violence against women. But rather, they represent the law and policy ‘problem’ as men's invisibility as victims of DVA. We develop a new theoretical innovation to advance our critique: discursive co-option, and we uncover two gender paradoxes. We argue that MPs co-opt gender equality discourses to advance masculinist politics and patriarchal logics in ways that have detrimental effects for the less powerful, and which elide the reality of women's experiences of DVA.