Marriage and the Construction of Reality

Abstract

Ever since Durkheim it has been a commonplace of family sociology that marriage serves as a protection against anomie for the individual. Interesting and pragmatically useful though this insight is, it is but the negative side of a phenomenon of much broader significance. If one speaks of anomic states, then one ought properly to investigate also the nomic processes that, by their absence, lead to the aforementioned states. If, consequently, one finds a negative correlation between marriage and anomie, then one should be led to inquire into the character of marriage as a nomos-building instrumentality, that is, of marriage as a social arrangement that creates for the individual the sort of order in which he can experience his life as making sense. It is our intention here to discuss marriage in these terms. While this could evidently be done in a macrosociological perspective, dealing with marriage as a major social institution at Mount Royal University on June 9, 2015 dio.sagepub.com Downloaded from 2 Cf .

Direct and Mediated Interaction in the Maintenance of Social Relationships

“…This is particularly true for the more encompassing relationships in our lives such as marriage partners and close friends. In these situations it is more likely that the individuals will have similar socio-economic status, religion, ethnic background and age [5], [27], [30], [46]. This notion also extends to our self-perceptions in that we seek out those whom we perceive to be somewhat similar in terms of attractiveness and ability [7].…”

“…However, as the relationship develops there is the need to develop a repertoire of common experiences and a shared history. This is the development of what Berger and Kellner call the nomos ( [5] 1; see also [49]). …”

“…A well established couple can, for example, share interests, political perspective, the concern and joy derived from children, the striving to buy and provide for a home, etc. Thus, there are a whole set of points outlining the interaction between the two [5]. The relationship between marriage partners is perhaps the ideal type for which Calhoun calls the "whole person."…”

“…The degree of objectification will depend on the number and the intensity of the social relationships that are its carriers (Berger and Kellner [5], 5).…”

“…Each partner's definitions of reality must be continually correlated with the definition of the other .... Furthermore, the identity of each now takes on a new character, having to be constantly matched with that of the other, indeed being typically perceived by the people at large as being symbiotically conjoined with the identity of the other (Berger and Kellner [5], 6).…”