Indonesia, like many rapidly ageing lower-middle-income countries (LMICs), tends to portray older citizens as ‘vulnerable’ and ‘dependent’; yet the country has few public policies to support them. To this discourse, an alternative stereotype is emerging, influenced by notions of ‘successful ageing’, which promotes models of older people as healthy and contributing to families and the nation state. In this article, we argue that both stereotypes ignore the varied and context-specific conditions of later life. Importantly, the dominant representations ignore the frailty and dependence that many people in LMICs experience towards the end of their lives. This results in dependence and frailty being concealed from view and treated as a purely familial responsibility, which households living in economic, social and demographic precarity can ill afford. ‘Familism by default’ spells invisible, unsupported and unsustainable care for many older Indonesians. This article draws on ethnographic fieldwork between 2018 and 2022 from two research projects on ageing, livelihoods, vulnerability and care in disparate communities across Indonesia. By juxtaposing dominant representations with the social, economic and health realities in which lives are lived, we trace the implications for policies, values and practices around care in later life.