Emotional labor, the act of suppressing or altering one’s feelings to enhance another person’s well-being, is predominantly performed by women, especially within intimate relationships. Despite its impact on well-being, research on its role in sexuality remains limited. We developed the Women’s Sexual Emotional Labor Assessment (WOSELA), a 12-item scale based on themes identified by past qualitative studies. To ensure its reliability and validity, we conducted three studies with women partnered with men, as well as heterosexual single women from the UK and the USA (N = 831). Drawing on exploratory factor analysis in Study 1, four subscales were identified: faking orgasm, performing desire, tolerating discomfort or pain, and partner-referenced sexual satisfaction. Confirmatory factor analyses in Study 2 (pre-registered) provided support for the WOSELA in its current form. In Study 3 (pre-registered), we demonstrated the validity of the WOSELA by establishing significant negative correlations with sexual agency, sexual communication, and sexual pleasure. Our results further show that the WOSELA was not significantly related to positive-partner-oriented sexual responsiveness. The WOSELA offers a unique tool to explore the role of emotional labor in sustaining the pleasure gap, as well as in broader power dynamics within intimate relationships and its impact on women’s well-being.