My Soul to Take: A Phenomenology of the Struggle for an Authentic Gay Spirituality

Abstract

This phenomenological study explored the "coming-out" experience of 7 gay men who were significantly influenced by conservative Christianity in their formative years and who are living as "out" gay men. Four commonalities were revealed in their experience of this phenomenon: (a) a realization and acceptance of their gay identity, (b) a reckoning that action was required, (c) a rejection of the oppressive religious authority in their lives, and (d) a reorientation in their pursuit of a healthy spirituality. The study includes a review of the relevant literature and recommendations to counselors in addressing the unique needs of spiritually oriented lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning individuals.

Assessing the Intersectionality of Religious and Sexual Identities During the Coming‐Out Process

“…Anderton, Pender, and Asner‐Self () described this experience of dissonance as religious identity/sexual orientation conflict “when an LGB individual experiences conflict or dissonance between his or her religious identity (shaped by his or her religious culture) and an emerging or present sexual orientation identity that is nonheterosexual” (p. 264). Many LGB people initially suffer silently, reluctant to acknowledge their sexual identity as they struggle with what they are hearing from the church or religious leaders about people who are like them (Jaspal & Cinnirella, ; McClasson & Rubel, ; Robertson & Avent, ).…”

“…Their religious beliefs during any of these interactions keep them recycling or stuck in all the experiences of dissonance issues discussed earlier and using unhealthy and unproductive behaviors to cope with the dissonance. This “stuckness” may ultimately lead to lifelong feelings of loathing or low self‐worth and potentially to suicidality (McClasson & Rubel, ; Subhi & Geelan, ).…”

In Search of Meaning: A Preliminary Typology of Gay Male Spiritual Identity Development

“…The relevance of terms such as validity and reliability, in the context of qualitative research, has been debated within certain academic circles. Maxwell (2005) argued that validity is a goal, rather than a product, and is ultimately relative; it must be evaluated in relation to the purpose and conditions of the overall project rather than as a "context-independent property of methods" (p. 105).…”

“…The categories included reconciliation, nonreconciliation , and undeveloped spiritual identity . They most often described reconciliation as a person's choice to remain within a faith of origin but reject its homonegative doctrine (Barret & Barzan, ; McGlasson & Rubel, ; Schuck & Liddle, ; Sherry, Adelman, Whilde, & Quick, ). A different but frequent method of finding reconciliation was seeking a path of spirituality in lieu of remaining with one's faith of origin or identifying with any other organized religion (Barret & Barzan, ; Halkitis et al, ; Lease et al, ; Sherry et al, ).…”

Understanding Conflict Between Religious/Spiritual and Queer Identities: A Framework for Counselors

“…have often subjected sexual/affectional and gender (i.e., queer) minorities to nonaffirming, discriminatory, and abusive messages suggesting incompatibility between sexual/affectional/gender minority identities and these belief systems (Super & Jacobson, 2011). Individuals with intersecting queer, religious, and/or spiritual identities are particularly vulnerable (McGlasson & Rubel, 2015; Super & Jacobson, 2011; Wood & Conley, 2014), experiencing internal conflicts that negatively affect identity development, negotiation, and integration (Super & Jacobson, 2011). We focus here on the identity development of persons identifying as queer and religious and/or spiritual.…”