Narcissistic Temptations to Cross Boundaries and How to Manage Them

Abstract

The narcissism of analysts is considered here from the perspective of the narcissistic temptations of boundary crossing. The literature on boundary crossing in psychoanalysis has focused minimally on the more ordinary, nonsexual temptations analysts face with their patients. Narcissistic temptations with particularly impressive patients are explored. What analysts find impressive in their patients depends both on what patients bring and on what analysts need. This paper aims to heighten analysts' awareness of their narcissistic needs in treating patients who tempt them too much. The goal is for analysts to be able to catch and then examine their narcissistic excitement with such patients in order to avoid compromising the treatment. Danger signs and ways of managing the problems they point toward are presented.

Between Action and Inaction: The Space for Analytic Intimacy

“…Since then I have come to feel much more comfortable with sharing, feeling, not always telling, intimate feelings with the patient I describe here—and with others. I have been surprised, in contrast to what I wrote in 2007 about narcissistic temptations to cross boundaries, at how caught up emotionally I became with this patient and others. In contrast to what I wrote in 2007 and 2010, I am now much more eager to examine what I feel and want with my patients, without pressure to make my feelings and needs disappear.…”

“…I have been surprised, in contrast to what I wrote in 2007 about narcissistic temptations to cross boundaries, at how caught up emotionally I became with this patient and others. In contrast to what I wrote in 2007 and 2010, I am now much more eager to examine what I feel and want with my patients, without pressure to make my feelings and needs disappear. Yes, I still have to sort out what part of my emotional experience is just about me, not related to my patient.…”

“…I begin with a rereading and reworking of my earlier stance. In 2007 and again in 2010 I wrote with considerable concern about analyst’s emotional overinvestment in patients. I was concerned about analysts’ narcissistic temptations with patients who in some way seemed special to them.…”

“…I was concerned about analysts’ narcissistic temptations with patients who in some way seemed special to them. In 2007 I warned about the risks of boundary crossing and violation when an analyst is too narcissistically invested in a patient. A colleague chided me for the “superego-ish” tone to my paper, so different, she pointed out, from my more usual accepting attitude toward affects and needs.…”

Maintaining boundaries in the treatment of pathological narcissism.

“…the qualities that allow therapists to center their attention and suspend focus on themselves also create pressure to feel that they must provide more when patients express or communicate displeasure or dissatisfaction (Mcwilliams, 2004). Second, psychotherapy is focused on helping one person, which leaves the therapist relatively protected from being known by the patient (Coen, 2007;Epstein, 1994;Smith & fitzpatrick, 1995;wolf, 1988). therapy has the potential to create ongoing and repetitive interpersonal experiences of not getting needs met.…”