Drawing upon critical feminist theorising, this article intervenes in the debates about humanitarian aid organisations in the case of urban refugees to highlight the ubiquity of in/formal practices in their interlinkedness that increasingly shape aid distribution. By examining humanitarian enactments at three levels –the national, the district and the neighbourhood– in the case of Ankara, Turkey, the article advances theoretical discussions about how formality and informality are intertwined as spatial techniques and discursive practices are deployed justifying in/formality in practice. We argue that such spatial and discursive interventions have become normalised as local aid distributors seek legitimacy in a contested process to counteract their image as unregulated. By centring the experiences of urban refugee women and their engagement with in/formal humanitarian practices, we expose the gendered connotations underpinning these interventions at the three levels of humanitarian enactments as (1) detached paternalism at the national level creating refugee women’s alienation, (2) a culture of Islamic charity at the district level prompting gendered performances of victimhood and (3) patriarchal ideology of male saviours linked to Islam at the neighbourhood level disciplining refugee women and leading to their (sexual) exploitation. In doing so, we problematise spatial and discursive modalities of in/formality, which produce profoundly gendered precarities, causing refugee women’s subordination in multiple ways. Bringing attention to how in/formality− as a part of contemporary conditions of refugeehood− interacts with gender, and how legitimacy is attained through on-the-ground spatial techniques coupled with discourses, we contribute to a more sophisticated understanding of the humanitarian field.