In this paper, a nonlinear reduced order model based on neural networks is introduced in order to model vertical sloshing in presence of Rayleigh-Taylor instability of the free surface for use in fluid-structure interaction simulations. A box partially filled with water, representative of a wing tank, is first set on vertical harmonic motion via a controlled electrodynamic shaker. Accelerometers and load cells at the interface between the tank and an electrodynamic shaker are employed to train a neural-network-based reduced order model for vertical sloshing. The model is then investigated for its capacity to consistently simulate the amount of dissipation associated with vertical sloshing under different fluid dynamics regimes. The identified tank is then experimentally attached at the free end of a cantilever beam to test the effectiveness of the neural network in predicting the sloshing forces when coupled with the overall structure. The experimental free response and random seismic excitation responses are then compared with that obtained by simulating an equivalent virtual model in which the identified nonlinear reduced-order model is integrated to account for the effects of violent vertical sloshing.