As a hydro-mechanical servo system, the whole performance of the two-dimensional proportional valve with magnetic coupling (2D-MC-PV) highly depend on certain structural parameters. To tradeoff good static/dynamic characteristics, good working stability and low leakage pilot stage, a multi-objective optimization is inevitable for preliminary design stage. Therefore, this paper proposes a multi-objective optimization method based on AMESim and Matlab/Simulink co-simulation model, which optimizes key structural parameters by adjusting weight coefficients (balancing static, dynamic, and pilot leakage performance). Considering that magnetic coupling (MC) is the key component for 2D-MC-PV to realize spool position feedback and translational motion conversion, the analytical equation of MC is derived based on the Coulomb’s law and the law of equivalent magnetic charge, and the Monte Carlo method is used to calculate. Finally, the prototype of 2D-MC-PV is designed and manufactured, and a special experimental platform is built to test the static/dynamic characteristics. The experimental results show that 2D-MC-PV has good working stability: under working pressure of 20 MPa, the maximum no-load flow rate is 108.8 L/min with the hysteresis of 3.36%, and the amplitude and phase frequency width is 27.8 and 36.6 Hz. It shows that the multi-objective optimization method proposed in this paper can be used as an optimization method for 2D-MC-PV.