Opposition in Social Interaction amongst Children: Why Intellectual Benefits Do Not Mean Social Costs

Abstract

Occasions where children oppose each other have been claimed to convey intellectual benefits through their association with justification and resolution. They have been claimed to promote social rejection through their association with aggression. Because it is inconceivable that intellectual benefits imply social costs, either the relation amongst opposition, justification, resolution, and aggression is weaker than claimed, or children differ in their use of justification, resolution, and aggression during opposition. To explore these possibilities, 49 triads, comprising children aged 4 to 7 years, were videotaped while they engaged in free play and structured activities. The children varied in gender and temperament, and the triads varied in gender composition. Justification, resolution, and aggression were all relatively frequent in oppositional contexts. However, the use of justification and resolution during opposition was clearly separated from the use of aggression. Gender, temperament, age, and gender composition of triad were all relevant to the oppositional behaviour that children displayed.

Future Directions in the Study of Close Relationships: Conflict Is Bad (Except When It's Not)

“…The correlates of conflict are likely to vary as a function of the characteristics of conflict. Conflicts that promote intellectual dialogue and justifications of views are more apt to be beneficial than conflicts that are limited to oppositional exchanges; conflicts characterized by hostile assertions and coercive behavior are more apt to be detrimental than non‐threatening conflicts (Howe & McWilliam, 2006). Balance theories of conflict argue that the consequences of conflict depend on the proportion of disagreements that are constructive relative to those that are destructive (Gottman, 1994).…”

Affective Qualities of Sibling Disputes, Mothers' Conflict Attitudes, and Children's Theory of Mind Development

“…There may also be individual differences in child personality and/or family dynamics behind some of the patterns we observed. Based on detailed observations of peers' conflicts in school and preschool, Howe and McWilliam (2006) noted important individual differences in children's patterns of conflict behavior with peers. Some conciliatory children approached most of their peer conflicts calmly and intellectually by discussing, justifying, and reflecting on the varied views underlying the dispute.…”

“…It is understandable that mothers' attitudes would differ in this way, given the correspondingly polarized views that can be discerned in the clinical and research literatures. As Howe and McWilliam (2006) note: ‘On the one hand there is a tradition that treats opposition as providing a major impetus to intellectual growth (p. 205) . .…”

“…In fact, although not studying siblings or ToM directly, several previous studies of preschoolers' conflicts with unrelated peers are broadly consistent with such a possibility. For example, Howe and McWilliam (2006), in a study of 4‐ to 6‐year‐olds' structured play with a pair of peers, showed those who expressed high levels of aggression (a frequent correlate of negative affect) used less justificatory arguments than those whose disputes were more affectively positive. Awareness that the mind underpins the adversary's overt behavior might enable a child with a well‐developed ToM to use affectively neutral discourse to sway the opponent's mental perspective, whereas a child without a ToM might resort to emotional tactics or sheer aggressive force.…”

“…We included two different measures of mothers' mental orientations to disputes among their offspring. Firstly, in line with suggestions by Howe and McWilliam (2006), we studied mothers' attitudes to sibling conflict as either a constructive force in relationships (e.g., a learning mechanism for social understanding and getting along together) or as a destructive force (e.g., as a source of personal unhappiness and/or relationship problems). On an exploratory basis, our interest was in possible correlations between these maternal conflict attitudes and focal child variables (ToM scores, affective expressions during and after conflict, dispute frequency, etc.).…”