We consider frequency-weighted damping optimization for vibrating systems described by a second-order differential equation. The goal is to determine viscosity values such that eigenvalues are kept away from certain undesirable areas on the imaginary axis. To this end, we present two complementary techniques.First, we propose new frameworks using nonsmooth constrained optimization problems, whose solutions both damp undesirable frequency bands and maintain the stability of the system. These frameworks also allow us to weight, which frequency bands are the most important to damp. Second, we also propose a fast new eigensolver for the structured quadratic eigenvalue problems (QEPs) that appear in such vibrating systems. In order to be efficient, our new eigensolver exploits special properties of diagonal-plus-rank-one (DPR1) complex symmetric matrices, which we leverage by showing how each QEP can be transformed into a short sequence of such linear eigenvalue problems. The result is an eigensolver that is substantially faster than standard techniques. By combining this new solver with our new optimization frameworks, we obtain our overall algorithm for fast computation of optimal viscosities. The efficiency and performance of our new approach are verified and illustrated on several numerical examples.