PurposeDrawing upon social exchange theory, this study investigates how witnessed incivility is related to psychological distress for employees. In addition, scholars dug deep into the potential moderating effect of self-esteem that links witnessed incivility, employee silence and psychological distress.Design/methodology/approachIn data were obtained from 292 bankers at family-owned banks. In this work, data analysis was performed using Smart-PLS covariance-based SEM version 4.FindingsThe study results indicate that employee silence mediates witnessed incivility and psychological distress. Findings also suggest that high self-esteem can mitigate the harmful effects of witnessed incivility, indirectly causing silence and psychological distress among employees.Practical implicationsFamily-owned bank management should encourage employees to speak up, demonstrate self-esteem and share their concerns. Thus, reducing witnessed incivility increases well-being, stress, and mental health in Pakistani family-owned enterprises which operate in diverse industries.Originality/valueIn the context of family-owned banks, our study adds context and theory to the existing body of knowledge by illuminating the underlying process that relates incivility with psychological distress By exploring the use of social exchange theory.