Parental Mate Choice Manipulation Tactics: Exploring Prevalence, Sex and Personality Effects

Abstract

Parents and children are genetically related but not genetically identical, which means that their genetic interests overlap but also diverge. In the area of mating, this translates into children making mate choices that are not in the best interest of their parents. Parents may then resort to manipulation in order to influence their children's mating decisions in a way that best promotes the former's interests. This paper attempts to identify the structure of manipulation tactics that parents employ on their daughters and sons, as well as on their daughters' and sons' mates, and also to estimate their prevalence. On the basis of the structure of the derived tactics, four hypotheses are tested: Mothers are more willing than fathers to use manipulation tactics; parents are willing to use more manipulation on their daughters than on their sons; the personality of parents predicts the use of tactics on their children and on their children's mates; and the personality of children and of children's mates predicts the use of tactics on them. Evidence from two independent studies provides support for the first three hypotheses, but mixed support for the fourth hypothesis. The implications of these findings are further discussed.

Will They Do As We Wish? An Investigation of the Effectiveness of Parental Manipulation on Mating Behavior

“…For instance, they may be carried away in relationships with individuals who physically abuse them or who do not intend to establish a committed relationship. As this decreases, in the fitness of children and their parents, the latter have the incentive to intervene in order to correct the situation (Apostolou and Papageorgi 2014). And parents can be effective in doing so because they are older and more experienced, and their judgment is not clouded by high levels of libido or love; so in many instances, they may be better able to identify cost-inflicting mates than their children.…”

“…Research has identified several traits, including beauty (a proxy of genetic quality), good family background, exciting personality, and similar religious background, which are preferred differently by parents and their children (Apostolou 2014;Buunk et al 2008;Dubbs and Buunk 2010;Perilloux et al 2011). This indicates that when they choose a mate, children are likely to find spouses who do not comply with the preferences of their parents.…”

“…In a pre-industrial context, parents can exercise direct control over their daughters' and sons' mating behavior and impose on them their in-law choices (Broude and Green 1983;Stephens 1963). In particular, across pre-industrial societies, the most common mode of long-term mating is arranged marriage where parents choose spouses for their children (Apostolou 2014). Parents can achieve direct control in this context because they can apply physical force on their children and because their children of marriageable age are dependent on parental investment (Apostolou 2010).…”

“…Parents can achieve direct control in this context because they can apply physical force on their children and because their children of marriageable age are dependent on parental investment (Apostolou 2010). In postindustrial societies, however, the rule of law and the protection of individual rights constrain parents from applying physical force on their daughters and sons, while marriage usually takes place at an age when children are financially independent from their parents (Apostolou 2014). In consequence, parents cannot control mating directly and they have to resort to manipulation in order to do so indirectly.…”

“…Their daughters and sons, however, are likely to make choices which do not agree with their wishes (Apostolou 2014;Buunk et al 2008;Perilloux et al 2011) so they resort to manipulation in order to align their children's behavior to their will (Apostolou 2014). Research has identified several tactics that parents employ for this purpose (Apostolou 2013); yet, there has not been any attempt to explore the effectiveness of these tactics in influencing children's behavior.…”