IntroductionWhether adolescents' routine disclosure to parents is voluntary is assumed but rarely assessed. Researchers also have not examined whether disclosure and lying are premeditated, occurring before rather than after disclosure or lying, and whether adolescents use a single strategy consistently rather than applying multiple strategies when deciding whether to disclose or lie about their activities. This study investigated these significant gaps in the literature and tested whether voluntariness (for disclosure), timing, consistency, and parental psychological control are associated with lessons learned from disclosure and lying.MethodsNarrative interviews were conducted in 2014–2015 with 131 primarily middle‐class, mostly White US early and middle adolescents and college students (M's = 12.74, 15.81, 20.41 years). Narrated disclosure and lying interviews were reliably coded for voluntariness, timing, consistency, and lessons learned. Parental psychological control was assessed using an online survey.ResultsDisclosure was primarily strategic or voluntary and less often involuntary. Lying occurred more often before the narrated event, whereas disclosure occurred more often after. Youth typically reported using other strategies besides the elicited one. Disclosing after was associated with lessons learned. Voluntary disclosure was associated with psychological growth, and psychological control was associated with negative self‐lessons.ConclusionsDisclosure and lying are complex and nuanced, varying in their timing, consistency, and voluntariness. These features contribute to adolescents' meaning‐make from disclosure and lying. The findings have implications for future research on disclosure and secrecy.