Parents in high‐conflict custodial cases: negotiating shared care across households

Abstract

A B S T R AC TUnderstanding the dynamics of custodial conflicts is important for reducing the level of such conflicts and improving the upbringing conditions for the children involved. The parents in these cases care for children living in two households, and our approach therefore draws on the knowledge of how 'ordinary' parents proceed in sharing care within and between locations. The paper is based on qualitative interviews with 15 Norwegian parents who were in contact with the child protection service during their custodial disagreements, indicating a high level of conflict and concerns about inadequate care. When describing and reflecting upon their practices of care, the parents speak from two main positions: as a concerned parent or an accused parent. These positions imply different approaches on how to share care, which offer insight into the mechanisms of getting stuck. Although the concerned parent worries about the child's well-being while staying with the other parent and thereby aims to take a continuous responsibility across households, the accused parent perceives the co-parent's involvement as undue and negotiates increased distance in parenting. Focusing on practices of care may contribute to turning the attention away from conflicts between former partners and towards the child's situation.

Negotiating client positions: parents with custodial disagreements talking about their experiences with child welfare workers

“…The participants who talked about being positioned as a 'parent in conflict' described interactions with child welfare professionals who primarily seemed to define their custodial disagreements as the 'trouble', yet simultaneously excluded these 'troubles' from child welfare work. As in the previous set of narratives, these participants talked about themselves as concerned parents (Jevne and Andenaes 2015), presenting worries about their ex-partner's parenting practises. However, their narratives indicated that the caseworkers took a neutral position (Jevne and Ulvik 2012;Saini et al 2012), positioning both parents as equally responsible for the situation.…”

“…Among the three client positions, the 'legitimately concerned parent' was the position to which most participants in this study aspired. These participants positioned themselves as concerned parent (Jevne and Andenaes 2015), mobilising a client position for themselves and their child and CWS's assistance primarily based on their claims that their ex-partner was a problematic and inadequate co-parent. Furthermore, these participants gave accounts of interactions with caseworkers, who seemed to operate with similar problem constructions, thus offering them a client position they seemed to accept.…”

“…The last category included participants who were offered a client position as a 'parent lacking ability to care'. These participants presented their caseworker as taking side in the conflict (Jevne and Ulvik 2012;Saini et al 2012) and as allied with their co-parent against themselves, while they positioned themselves as an accused parent (Jevne and Andenaes 2015), who was incorrectly blamed by their co-parent for neglecting or abusing their child.…”

“…Studies have highlighted a diversity of issues involved in high conflict cases; Cases may involve challenging co-parental interactions, such as poor communication, hostility, disagreements on finances, repeated custodial litigations or partner violence, and concerns about mental health issues and addictions. High conflict cases may also involve concerns and allegations of inadequate care, such as concerns of poor standards of care, child manipulation, child abuse or violence (Koch 2000;Buchanan et al 2001;Smart and May 2004;Jaffe et al 2008;Birnbaum and Bala 2010;Cashmore and Parkinson 2011;Jevne and Andenaes 2015).…”

“…Another parent, Kristoffer 7 , gave accounts of how the CWS supported him by regulating coparental interactions and by investigating the children's perspectives. Being the father of two children living in a 50/50 arrangement, Kristoffer talked about himself as a concerned parent(Jevne and Andenaes 2015), who struggled with his ex-wife's terrible temperament and who…”