Partner-violent and non-violent fathers’ descriptions of co-parenting

Abstract

We examined how men in treatment for intimate partner violence and non-violent men described the mother of their child, and their co-parenting. We interviewed six cohabiting and five non-cohabiting fathers in treatment for intimate partner violence (IPV), and six non-violent fathers on their everyday-life experience of being a father. We performed a theory driven thematic analysis, using ‘we-ness’ as an organising concept. In contrast to non-violent fathers, partner-violent fathers’ descriptions of the co-parenting relationship lacked reference to mutuality, respect and an understanding of family dynamics. Partner-violent fathers tended to present the child’s mother negatively, with non-cohabiting fathers using more categorically negative characteristics. Men in IPV treatment also described more undermining co-parenting behaviours. Therapeutic interventions for men who have used IPV should focus on developing basic perspective-taking skills towards their (ex-)partner and child. With men who are cohabiting, couple sessions on co-parenting should be considered. In separated couples, this work may be more safely conducted individually. The effects of IPV on co-parenting, and through co-parenting on child development, should routinely be explored in therapy.<br/><br/>Key messages<br/><ul><li>Men who have used IPV exhibit little reciprocity and understanding of family dynamics, and how these may affect children’s development.</li><br/><li>Interventions for partner-violent men who have contact with their children should include a focus on parenting and co-parenting, building basic co-parenting skills.</li><br/></ul>

Coparenting and intimate partner violence

“…Small scale studies in Canada and Norway have compared documented IPV perpetrators with non‐perpetrators and found clear differences in abusive men's perceptions of mothers and of the coparenting relationship (Mohaupt & Duckert, 2022; Thompson‐Walsh et al, 2018). For example, Mohaupt and Duckert (2022) found abusive men's descriptions of coparenting lacked reference to mutuality, respect, perspective taking, and child development, and, when compared to nonviolent men, they reported using more tactics to undermine coparenting. Perceived problems in coparenting relationships with mothers impacted fathers' relationships with their children.…”

“…Perceived problems in coparenting relationships with mothers impacted fathers' relationships with their children. This effect is not unique to coparenting relationships with a history of IPV, but, among fathers who have perpetrated IPV, the effect may be associated with more aggressive parenting and less ability to be empathic to children (Mohaupt & Duckert, 2022; Thompson‐Walsh et al, 2018). Studies compared distressed coparenting fathers with and without IPV and found abusive fathers were more likely to disparage mothers as bad parents, blame mothers for poor coparenting relationships, and lack awareness of the impact of their coparenting on children while simultaneously viewing themselves as powerless to improve coparenting relationships.…”

“…Specifically, assessments should attend to frequency and severity of any violence and patterns of coercive control with or without violence. Among parents who use violence and coercive control, assessments should attend to their insight into the effects of violence and/or coercive control and coparenting dynamics on children, their motivation to change, and their ability to be empathic of children's experiences and assume mutuality with respect to coparenting relationships (Mohaupt & Duckert, 2022; Thompson‐Walsh et al, 2018). Asking about other risk factors linked to severe violence or lethality, such as access to guns or threats to kill (Campbell et al, 2009), is also critical when coparenting is under consideration.…”

“…Interventions should prioritize safety and recovery from IPV by ending opportunities for future violence, harassment, and coercive control (Mohaupt & Duckert, 2022). For mothers and children who have experienced coercive control, time and space after separation is critical for gaining perspective on the distorted realities created by partners who coercively control them (Katz, 2022).…”