‘Pay close attention to what my eyes are saying without having to spell it out’: Heterosexual relations and discourses of sexual communication in #MeToo commentaries

Abstract

This paper explores how concepts of sexual communication and sex are discussed in #MeToo commentaries. Previous research has focused primarily on questions of consent, gendered power relations and sexual violence against women. Drawing from work that has called for more reflexive considerations of desire and pleasure in #MeToo, I undertake a critical feminist discourse analysis of over 163 traditional news, online magazine and social news articles commenting on #MeToo, sexual communication, dating and heterosexual relations between men and women. The findings of this analysis note discourses underpinning tensions between what constitutes ideal or appropriate forms of sexual communication, uncertainties as to what effectively makes sex ‘good’ or ‘bad’, moralisations regarding how ‘good’ and ‘bad’ sex are possible, and contradicting accounts of women’s capacity for sexual empowerment. Through highlighting the incongruities in expectations as to how individuals should proceed sexually and romantically in a #MeToo era, I conclude with a discussion on how we can think about such relations within a consideration of a ‘self-in-process’ and ‘subject-act-ivity’ framework.

Expert Stakeholders’ Perspectives on How Cisgender Heterosexual Boys and Young Men Navigate Sex and Intimacy in Australia: A Case for “Heterosexual Intimacies” in Policy and Practice

“…Such inequities within sexual relations are directly linked to the highly criticised androcentric and phallic-centric focus on men’s pleasure in RSE and broader social cultures (Fine & McClelland, 2006 ). This has important implications for how cisgender heterosexual boys and young men develop effective sexual communication skills (Darnell, 2020 ; Waling, 2022 ); critical pornography literacies (Crabbe & Flood, 2021 ); capacity to negotiate contraceptive and sexual health conversations as well as to take responsibility for their sexual and reproductive health (Brown, 2015 ); and their capacity to have meaningful discussions with potential partners about sexual wants and desires (Darnell, 2020 ).…”

“…This study is part of a larger project exploring men’s engagements with sex, consent, and intimacy, which includes interviews and focus groups with young cisgender heterosexual men and women, and cultural analyses of discourses of sex, sexual communication, desires, and gender (Waling, 2022 ). In this paper, we focus specifically on a subset of this project, that is, engagement with expert stakeholders.…”

“…We draw from a concept of “heterosexual intimacies”, which pays careful attention to how cisgender men and women are socialised into heterosexual relations as part of broader gender socialising. This includes considerations of gendered power dynamics within dating and sexual practices (i.e., men pursue/aggressive, women are pursued/passive), sexual communication expectations (i.e., body language, contraceptive negotiation), and avenues for learning about sex and sexual practices (i.e., pornography) (see Beasley, 2015 ; Brown, 2015 ; Crabbe & Flood, 2020 ; Flood, 2008 ; Ford, 2018 ; Haywood, 2018 ; Meenagh, 2021 ; Waling, 2022 ).…”

‘Inoculate Boys Against Toxic Masculinity’: Exploring Discourses of Men and Masculinity in #Metoo Commentaries

“…This work is part of a larger multi-study project based in Australia exploring heterosexual, cisgender men’s experiences with sex, intimacy, and dating. This multi-study project (www.m-sex.org) includes interviews with expert stakeholders working in sexual health, emotional and physical health and well-being, and gendered violence prevention (Waling et al, 2022), interviews and focus groups with young cisgender, heterosexual men and women regarding their sex and dating experiences, and cultural analyses of #MeToo, dating, sex and gender relations (Waling, 2022). In this specific paper, I am seeking to understand how men and masculinity are discussed in #MeToo traditional news articles, social news and online magazines as a part of this much larger multi-study project from an exploratory perspective (Rendle et al, 2019).…”

“…After careful deliberation of multiple varying search strings and keywords, a final search string was chosen: These search choices were chosen to reflect the larger project which focuses on men's understandings and engagement with sex, consent and intimacy in wake of #MeToo. A subsequent paper explores sexual communication, sex and intimacy (Waling, 2022). In this paper, I focus on articles discussing masculinity and men.…”